Fated
by Bitter.Season
Summary: [Complete] Hermione Granger falls victim to a complex spell and wakes to find herself safe at Hogwarts. The catch is, she's twenty years in the past. [Hermione:Remus]
1. Prologue

Summary: Hermione Granger falls victim to a complex spell and wakes to find herself safe at Hogwarts. The only catch is, she's twenty years in the past.

Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling, so therefore, I neither own nor am making a profit, from the story contained herein. This is the only time I'm attaching this disclaimer to the fic, so read it and memorize it if you feel so compelled.

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Prologue

The last thing Hermione remembered before passing out was a swirling blue light, and the smirking face of Draco Malfoy.

It had been a Saturday. Harry and Ron had gone out on the Quidditch pitch to practice, so Hermione had decided to head to the library to work on her Potions essay. She hadn't been researching for more than ten minutes when a small first year came in, informing her that Ron and Harry requested her presence down in the dungeons. Of course, Hermione had found it rather odd that they would want her to go all the way down there. After all, the dungeons were Slytherin territory, and it was a bit unsafe for Gryffindors to be wandering around there aimlessly. Then again, this was Harry and Ron she was thinking about, and they neither worried about nor cared whether something was safe.

She had hurried down the various stairways, finally finding herself in the room they had described. Upon walking in, Hermione had been accosted by two rather burly individuals, both of whom forced her to sit in a rather uncomfortable, rickety chair. They pair had begun tying her hands behind her back, and Hermione had chuckled good-naturedly. "I should have known Harry and Ron would get you two in on any practical jokes." She glanced at one of the figures, "Fred, or is it George, what were you planning to do exactly?"

A harsh laugh had quickly put any thoughts of a joke to rest. Standing in front of her, behind the two muscular, hooded figures, was Draco Malfoy. He was wearing a black robe, the hood pulled onto his silvery blonde hair, but his face still peeking out. "Hello, Mudblood."

Hermione had squirmed in her seat, struggling against the ropes. Suddenly, she was regretting letting them tie her up so easily. "You'll never get away with this, Malfoy. Harry and Ron will..."

"They'll do what exactly?" he asked snidely. "They are under the impression that you're feeling a bit under the weather and have retired to your dormitory to rest. They'll never even think to look for you here, not that they'll find you anyway."

"Dumbledore will never let you get away with this," she had replied, but from the looks of things, it had seemed as if he just might. "What are you planning to do to me?"

Malfoy had smirked wickedly. "It's simply insurance, you see." Off her look, he had chuckled a bit, "I'm merely insuring that you keep your know-it-all nose out of my business... for good."

And with that, he had begun the incantation. Glancing around, Hermione had noticed the peculiar items resting in a circle around her. Obviously, it was rather complex. And then, Hermione had started to get dizzy.

It was simply a disoriented feeling at first, but after a few moments, it had felt like the entire room was spinning. Her eyes had bore into Malfoy's, but he had seemed to flicker in and out of her vision. One moment, he had been standing in front of her, while the next, all she had seen was the wall behind him.

"Good-bye, Granger," he had smirked.

The world had gone black.


	2. And So It Begins

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Chapter One: And So It Begins

Hermione awoke with a start. She took in her surroundings quickly, noticing that she was still in the same room, only without the chair. It seemed that whatever Malfoy's plan had been, it had obviously failed to produce the desired results. Standing up, she pulled the door open and peered out. The corridors were completely devoid of life. Who knows how long I've been lost, she thought with despair. Harry and Ron, if they had any sense at all to check on her, would probably be frantic by now.

She hurried down the corridor, trying her best to make as little noise as possible. Making her way up the staircase, she paused every few moments to check for footsteps. When she heard none, she continued up, finally reaching the doorway to the Entrance Hall. That, too, was empty.

It took her very little time to make her way up to the seventh floor, where the entrance to Gryffindor tower was located. She found it rather odd that there were no prefects roaming the halls, but wrote it off to the fact that it must be rather late in the night. Stopping outside the portrait of the Fat Lady, she paused. "Fortuna Major," she said, waiting impatiently for the door to open.

"I'm sorry. No one gets in without the correct password," the Fat Lady replied.

"But that was the password this morning," Hermione said sternly. It was not like her to forget the password to the dormitories. Obviously, someone had had it changed.

"I'm sorry. Please, go back where you came from."

Hermione looked at her curiously, "But don't you recognize me. I come through here all the time. I've never forgotten the password, ever. They've changed it without giving me notice, I'm sure." She pointed down to her prefect badge, "Would a prefect lie to you?"

The Fat Lady looked down at her disdainfully, "I don't know what you are talking about young lady. For the life of me, I know I haven't seen you before. Now please, go away or I'll go off to find the Headmaster."

Hermione slumped down to the floor, leaning against the walls. "Fine. I'll just wait until someone comes along to let me in then."

"Suit yourself," the Fat Lady responded before falling quickly to sleep.

"A whole lot of good you are," Hermione muttered, staring off into the darkness. If Filch came along, she knew that she was in for it, but there really wasn't anywhere else to go. "For having been blacked out for heaven knows how long, I'm terribly tired," she mumbled, "Perhaps a nap would do me well. Someone will come along eventually." And with that, Hermione slipped off into an exhausted sleep.

--------========--------

"Well, that's curious. There's a girl sleeping against the door."

"Like we couldn't see that, Peter."

"Well... I just..."

"She's wearing a Gryffindor robe, but I'm certain I've never seen her before."

"And of course, James would know. There's no way an attractive female could ever get past him."

Hermione's breath caught in her throat. There were people standing in front of her, and she didn't dare open her eyes. Those names though, they sound so familiar, she thought. There's something about them, she decided, but she was too tired to know what it was for sure.

"For heaven's sake, she's wearing a prefects badge. Of all the people here, you should know who she is, Remus."

She opened one eye carefully, watching as a tall, black haired, bespectacled boy poked a shorter brunette's chest, over what she assumed was his prefect badge. Hermione was certain she knew him, but couldn't put her finger on from where that was.

"G...g...guys... You've woken her up."

"An astute observation, Wormtail," a lanky, black-haired boy said, punching a short, pudgy blonde boy in the shoulder.

"Hello there. May I ask what you're doing sleeping in the hallway in the middle of the night?" the small brunette asked. He knelt down beside her, and Hermione noticed that he did, in fact, have a prefect's badge pinned to his chest.

"I got locked out of the common room. I couldn't remember the password... they must have changed it," she said absently. Looking at the four trivially, she asked, "And who are you then?"

The black-haired boy with glasses puffed his chest out proudly, "Why, you must have heard of James Potter, I'm sure. I'm only the Chaser for Gryffindor, you know. These are my followers, er... I mean, friends." Off his comment, two of the three remaining boys rolled their eyes before he continued. "That's Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew," he said, pointing to each boy in turn.

Hermione backed away from the one kneeling beside her, the one identified as Remus Lupin, and looked at them with wide eyes, "Do you think you're being funny? What are you four trying to pull?" She rolled her eyes, calming slightly. "Okay, so how did you four actually figure out the Polyjuice potion, and whose hair did you steal exactly? I don't recognize a single one of you. I'm sure Fred and George must have put you up to this."

The four boys looked at each other in confusion, then glanced back at her. "Who are Fred and George? Did you bump your head on something, miss?" It was Lupin again.

"I have not bumped my head on anything, thank you. I was told to meet Harry and Ron in the dungeon, then I was attacked by Malfoy. It was obviously a trap, but I didn't know it at the time, of course."

"Malfoy? You mean old Lucius? He hasn't been here in years, has he Sirius?" James asked.

Hermione shook her head incredulously, "Seriously, this is ridiculous. Would you four stop messing around and just let me into the common room. I'd like to go get some sleep, and this floor is rather uncomfortable."

"Tell us why Lucius Malfoy is back in Hogwarts. The old twit always was a pain in the arse when he was here."

"He was only here for one year with us, Sirius."

"I realize that, Remus, but he was still a dumb git."

"Enough, please!" Hermione exclaimed. "You know very well that I'm talking about his son, Draco. For heaven's sake, I'm sick of this game. At any rate, your Polyjuice potion is going to start wearing off soon anyway."

"That's a good one. Old Malfoy actually having a child. Who'd have thought the old git would ever find a woman," Sirius muttered.

"One could say the same thing about you," Remus said with a wink. "Honestly, I'm not sure what you think the date is exactly, but I assure you that Lucius Malfoy does not have a son old enough to attend Hogwarts, if he has one at all."

"I don't believe this. You four are exasperating. It's the year 1995. Lucius Malfoy is definitely old enough to have a son, and a rotten one at that."

"That's impossible," Peter said quietly.

"Why's that?" Hermione asked coolly. Though he couldn't possibly be the real Pettigrew, anyone masquerading as the snitch was as low as the man himself, she decided.

Sirius reached into his robe and pulled a copy of the Daily Prophet from amongst his inner pockets, handing it to Hermione. "Here, see for yourself."

Hermione took the paper and unfolded it, glancing at the top with ever-widening eyes. Printed across the top of the newspaper was the date 'November 24th, 1975.' Her grip on the paper loosened as the blackness crept upon her once more.


	3. I'm Hermione Granger

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Chapter Two: I'm Hermione Granger

"We've definitely killed her. We're going to Azkaban for this."

"Oh come off it, Remus. You worry too much. She's fainted is all."

Hermione opened her eyes, watching a figure pace back and forth in front of her. She seemed to be lying on a couch in what she immediately recognized as the Gryffindor common room. It was still dark outside, so she couldn't have been out long.

The boy stopped pacing and came to kneel beside her. "I was so sure that you were dead."

"What's happening to me?" she asked softly. Hermione was very rarely scared, but this was one of those moments. Perhaps Malfoy's plan really did work, she thought with a start. He had said it was his intention to remove her from his life for good.

"As best as we can tell, you're insane," Sirius said offhandedly, earning a glare from Remus. He seemed, to Hermione, to be the most levelheaded of the group.

"There was a spell... an incantation that Malfoy was saying. I was surrounded by something and there was a blue light. When I woke up, I was in the dungeons, but Malfoy and all of the items were gone."

"It sounds like some kind of complex time-travel spell," Remus stated. Off the other three boys' looks, he quickly said, "Well, there's little else to do but brush up on magic when all the other children are too afraid to be near you."

James and Sirius merely shrugged while Peter looked a little sad. Remus turned back to Hermione, "Did you catch any of the things that he said?"

"No, it was too confusing. I still don't understand though... you claim you're Prof... I mean, Remus Lupin, but I know that's impossible because I know him, and he's considerably older." The boys stared at her in amusement and she sighed, "You really think that I've gone backwards in time?"

He nodded slightly, "Yes, but I'm not sure how someone your age could have figured out a spell like that. That's highly advanced magic. Most fully-grown wizards are incapable of such a feat."

Hermione shook her head. Normally, she was quite a bright witch, but the events of the night had completely drained her. She looked around everywhere for an escape, but realized that there truly was no place to go. "What am I going to do exactly? Until I find a way back home, I'm trapped here in this time without my friends and family. I don't even have a place to sleep because some other fifth year is sleeping in my bed."

Sirius waggled his eyebrows at her, "You know, there's always an opening in my bed for pretty little things like you."

James rolled his eyes, "You definitely need to be taught some subtlety. Honestly, Sirius, you never learn." He turned to Hermione and studied her carefully, "Perhaps we should all stay down here with you tonight."

Hermione took a deep breath, nodding slightly. "I suppose that shall be fine, but what about tomorrow night, and the one after that. I'm not going to be able to get home any time soon, I'm sure." And suddenly it hit her. It could be a very long time before she found her way home again. She had no way of knowing how long Draco had researched that spell, and how he had managed to cast it. "I think I'm going to need your help," she admitted softly.

Remus nodded, placing a hand on her shoulder carefully for a moment before letting it fall once more. "We'll do whatever we can. It was pure luck on your part that we stumbled by. After all, we are some of the best and brightest that Hogwarts has to offer."

"Yes, that's very comforting," Hermione reassured him, though she honestly doubted they were any brighter than she herself was. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get some sleep. We'll have to speak with Dumbledore in the morning. Perhaps he'll know what to do."

Hermione watched as the three boys who were standing; James, Sirius, and Peter, found chairs around the fireplace to nestle themselves in. Remus, on the other hand, stayed firmly in the position he had been in since she had awakened. She stared at him curiously for a moment before reaching out a hand to touch his face. Her fingertips brushed against his cheek and she pulled back her hand as if it had been burned. He raised an eyebrow inquisitively at her and she sighed heavily. "I suppose I just wanted proof that this was all real. It's so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that in all honesty, I shouldn't even exist yet."

Remus stood and nodded toward the end of the couch with Hermione's feet on it. She pulled them down obligingly, and he sat, turning to look at her in the dim firelight. It was shocking to see Lupin at such a young age when the man that Hermione remembered had been thin and scraggly, graying before his time with the toils of his life. To Hermione, he now looked like he was living in the happiest days of his life, with little more to worry about than keeping his friends out of trouble. Of course, he was still a werewolf, but looking at him, Hermione could see that that fact didn't seem to bother him as much with his friends around. He raised his eyebrows at her and chuckled a little, "You didn't hear me, did you?"

Hermione shook her head sheepishly, "No, I suppose I didn't. I'm rather sorry. It's just a lot to grasp right now."

Remus nodded understandingly, "I promise that I'll help you in any way that I can. I'm sure that between the five of us, we can find a potion or incantation that will send you right back to where you belong. We'll even go to see Dumbledore first thing in the morning. Perhaps he'll have the answers and save us the trouble."

Hermione nodded, stifling a yawn. "I'm sure you're correct. We'll just wait until morning."

Remus pulled his wand out of his pocket, swishing it in the air. "_Accio quilt_," he said, watching as one of the quilts folded beside the fire sprang to life, whizzing over to his outstretched hand. He covered Hermione up, and she smiled gratefully.

He returned her smile warmly. "You never did tell us your name, you know?"

"I'm Hermione Granger," she mumbled sleepily, remembering a time not so long ago when she had said the same exact phrase to a few other young boys. Her last waking thoughts were of Harry and Ron, and whether or not they even knew she was gone.


	4. Permission to Keep Looking

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Chapter Three: Permission to Keep Looking

"What do you suppose Dumbledore is going to say when we show up with her?"

"He'll have to believe us, Peter. How else would he explain this girl, whom none of us know, who is wearing the Gryffindor colors, and a prefect badge?" It was Remus's voice.

"Knowing old Dumbledore, he already knows about her anyway." Definitely James.

Hermione opened her eyes, staring up at the three boys above her. She was honestly a bit surprised that Sirius wasn't with them, but a quick inspection of the room showed that he was merely standing on the other side of her couch. "Am I doomed to be awaken by you four every time I fall asleep?" she asked teasingly, straightening out her robes with a great deal of care. She suddenly felt a bit unclean, but none of the boys had changed either, so she supposed it would be all right this once.

"One of the pleasures of being part of our little group," Remus told her, half-seriously. He took the quilt up, folding it carefully before returning it to its position by the fireside. He returned to her side momentarily, placing one of his hands over hers in what Hermione assumed was a comforting gesture. "If you'd like, we can go talk to Professor Dumbledore now," he suggested.

Hermione nodded absently, enjoying the feel of his skin against hers. Last night, she had felt awkward around them, but in the first light of day, she could see that there was a naked honesty on the faces of three of the four boys. She couldn't bring herself to look at Peter properly, too afraid she would reveal the truth. Hermione knew enough about time-travel to know that it was best not to change things that would alter the future. Even being there was bad enough, and she had no way of knowing what kind of damage she had inadvertently caused.

"Come along then," James said impatiently. It was obvious to her that he had other places he would rather be, but she was thankful that he was wiling to help with the rest of them.

Hermione stood, following the boys out into the hallway and down the stairs. "Do you know where the Headmaster's Office is?" she inquired. It was not her intention to follow them on a wild goose chase for hours.

James turned to smirk at her, but continued walking on. He led them down the stairs in silence. It seemed, to Hermione, that the rest of the castle had yet to awaken. Even the people in the pictures, normally loud and fussy, were strangely silent.

After traveling down the staircase for a while, James finally stopped on the second floor and led them through a corridor. "I told you all those times I got sent here would come in handy one day, Moony, old boy," James said wryly, standing in front of a gargoyle statue with a smile.

"You've gotten us here, now what's the password, James?" Remus asked in a most exasperated voice.

"Fizzing Whizbees," James announced proudly, and to Hermione's surprise a staircase began to wind upwards. "Well, come on then. You're going to have to walk it if you don't get on quickly." The group piled onto the staircase, watching above them as they spiraled through the tower to the headmaster's office.

When they arrived at the top, James knocked on the door and watched in amazement as it opened. Hermione could tell that he honestly wasn't expecting Dumbledore to be there.

"Do come in," an old voice kindly called to them. They rounded a corner and Hermione came face to face with Albus Dumbledore. She was surprised to see that he hadn't seemed to age a day between now and when she knew him in the future.

"Headmaster," Remus began, looking at the group a bit nervously, "We found this girl outside the Gryffindor portrait this morning. She says her name is Hermione Granger, and we believe that..."

"She's from the future. Am I correct, Remus?" Hermione watched Dumbledore's face twist into a knowing smile. "Miss Granger, it's lovely to see you."

"You sound as if you were expecting me Headmaster."

"Indeed, I was. In fact, I knew you were coming before you arrived last night. No matter. I'm assuming that you wish to find a way home, do you not?"

Hermione nodded encouragingly, "Yes sir, that's exactly it. I was wondering if you could help me."

"I do not know of a way for you to get home at this time, Miss Granger. I do, however, give Remus permission to help you search out a means of return in the library during spare time. I will give you a note for the restricted section, if you deem it useful." He turned to Hermione, "However, until we find a method of returning you to your own time, you shall enroll in Hogwarts and continue your fifth year in this time. That way, you will not be behind when the time comes for you to return."

Hermione sighed. It was beginning to look hopeless, she thought. If Dumbledore couldn't think of a way to send her home, how would she and Lupin find one? "Thank you, sir."

"If that will be all, I have some very pressing matters to attend to in London. I wish you the best of luck, Miss Granger."

"Thank you, Headmaster," Hermione said dejectedly. She followed James and the others out of the room, not really seeing where it was she was wandering to. She glanced up and caught Remus staring at her. He seemed desperate for something to say that would help her, but she could tell by the clouds in his eyes, that he could think of no words to ease her suffering.

"When you get upstairs, talk to Lily Evans. She's about your size, and she's one of the nicest girls in the school. I'm sure she'll loan you some robes until we can get you to Hogsmeade next weekend. As for books, well, I suppose you can come along with me to my classes until you can get some of your own," Remus offered helpfully as he came over to walk beside her.

She smiled at him a little, though in her heart, she felt like she was dying. "Thanks for everything. I really do appreciate this."

He smiled lopsidedly. "I swear to you, I will help you find a way home."


	5. Snivellus Snape

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Chapter Four: Snivellus Snape

Months had passed since Hermione had initially found herself in 1975, yet nothing new had come up. The Christmas holidays had passed; it was 1976 now, and she was beginning to lose hope of ever finding her way back home again.

She was sitting in the library one day, when she finally snapped, throwing her books down and crossing her arms in frustration. "I'm never going to get home again, am I?" she asked her companion, who had also set his book down by now, only considerably gentler than she.

Remus stood from his chair, coming over to stand beside Hermione. He rested a hand on her shoulder comfortingly, until she turned to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his robes. He sighed, placing his other hand on her head and smoothing her hair. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I wish that I could do more to help you, but this is proving more difficult than I initially thought. I swear to you though, I will not give up until I find an answer."

She smiled, pulling her head back to look up at him. "I know you won't. Thank you for everything you've done for me. It's your fifth year... you should be studying for the O.W.L.s, but instead, you're doing pointless research on my part. You don't know how much I appreciate this, Remus."

He nodded, taking her hands in his and pulling her up beside him. "Come, everyone is leaving for Hogsmeade, so why are we wasting our time up here? We still haven't found time to get you new robes and books yet, have we? Perhaps today would be a good time."

She sighed, shaking her head. "You know I haven't got any money. Everything that I had is stuck in 1995, and I most definitely am not."

"What Remus is trying to say, Hermione, is that you stink and need new clothes before we all abandon you and you're left to find a way home on your own."

Hermione spun around, glaring at Sirius playfully. "You would like that, wouldn't you. Of course, you should be appreciative. While I'm occupying Remus's time, you're free to gallivant around the castle without a prefect tagging along to keep you out of trouble."

James smirked, coming up beside Sirius, with Peter in tow. "Well, when you put it that way, perhaps it is best if we get her clothes. That way, she can continue stealing away all of Moony's attention and save us the trouble of having him worry about us all the time."

"I would worry anyway," Remus said softly, but let the subject drop at that. "Shall we go then." Off Hermione's look, he said, "You know that I won't mind loaning you some galleons to buy some new robes, and quite frankly, if you don't get a set of books for yourself, I'm going to start studying in the boys dormitory where you can't flip my pages as I'm trying to read."

Hermione smiled sheepishly, "I suppose I am a bit touchy when it comes to studying, and perhaps it would be best if I had some new robes of my own. I'm sure I'm trying Lily's infinite patience by constantly nicking hers whenever I need a clean set."

Peter looked at her curiously, "Do you have any other clothes to wear underneath?"

James looked at him in shock. "Wormtail, that is none of your business, and I am thoroughly appalled by the fact that you asked her such a thing."

Peter looked a mix of terrified and apologetic all at once. Sirius on the other hand, looked bored, "Oh come now, James, you know we all were wondering the same thing. Except perhaps our dear Moony. He's too pure and proper for thoughts like that."

Remus blushed deeply, but Hermione cut in before he could speak. "If you don't mind, could we please get off the subject of my knickers and please hurry on before the rest of the students leave for Hogsmeade without us?" she asked testily. As much as she enjoyed the antics of the boys sometimes, at other times it got to be too much, and this was certainly one of those instances. It seemed, to her, as if she had Harry and Ron multiplied by two, with the added benefit of the Weasley twin's personalities spread between the group.

Hermione followed the boys down the stairs in silence. It seemed as if most of Hogwarts was gathered in the entrance hall, waiting to leave for Hogsmeade. Glancing around the crowd, Hermione was surprised to see Severus Snape standing with a group of people. Though he made it look like he belonged amongst them, none of them were even looking at him, leading Hermione to the conclusion that they honestly didn't notice, or care, that he was there. She almost felt sorry for him, but she had little time to consider what to do about it before she heard James snicker.

She hadn't any time to react before James bound across the room, coming to a halt beside Severus.

"Oh no," she muttered, following the rest of the group closely. She knew that by stepping in, she would anger James, and more than likely, Sirius as well, but this was starting to occur far too often for Hermione's taste.

"Hello there Snivellus. Pleasant day, eh?"

She watched as he turned to look at James with a glare. "What now?" she heard him ask. It still surprised her that he sounded exactly the same as he did in the future. Some things never did change.

"Just wanted to make sure you were having a nice day, mate," James said quickly as one of the professors wandered by. He lowered his voice, "See you in Hogsmeade, Snivellus," he muttered as Remus grabbed him by the arm and led him away. Hermione once again followed behind them, being sure to keep the boys in her sight the entire time. I think I'm beginning to understand how Peter feels, she thought as she watched the mousy little boy prance excitedly about around James, Sirius, and Remus. The current target of his excitement, it seemed, was James.

Hermione glanced back at Severus, but he refused to catch her eyes. I'll have to talk to him later, I suppose, she decided. She felt a hand rest on her shoulder, and she snapped back towards her group. It was Remus, as she might have expected. "You seemed a little predisposed. I thought you should know that we're leaving,"

Hermione nodded absently, "Thank you, Remus." She took the arm that he offered, but kept glancing back as Snape faded into the background of students. She only hoped that he had decided not to go because who knew what kind of trouble James and Sirius were up to.

The trip to Hogsmeade village passed quickly, and Hermione was pleased to see that it was just the same as it had been in her time. Little things had changed, sure, but most of it was similar. Stopping in front of a small shop, her breath caught in her throat. Inside the small Flourish and Blotts was Severus Snape, and James Potter was not too far behind. She had been hoping for a little more time, but it was obvious that it wasn't to be.

"I know you want to do something, but he won't listen. Neither of them will, and Peter's not much better," Remus said into her ear. He was standing behind her, watching the action take place over her shoulder. He put his hands on her waist, turning her away from the scene inside. "I can tell by the look in your eyes that you think I should be in there, but it wouldn't do any good. Don't you see... they thrive on this sort of thing. By going in there and trying to get them to stop, it'll be like adding fuel to the fire because they'll know that they have my attention."

Hermione looked away from him, taking a deep breath to regain her focus. Being this close to him was intoxicating, and she knew that if she didn't get away, she would be lost. "That still doesn't mean we shouldn't try. I know what it's like to be where he is right now. I've heard the taunts, but not quite so outright. I should be helping him."

Remus took her hand, leading her away from the bookstore. "Perhaps another time. You know Severus would never appreciate the help you wish to give him. It would make him look weak, being protected by a woman, and being thought weak is far worse than what they're doing in there."

Hermione merely nodded absently, following him throughout the village. They stopped in Gladrags Wizardwear to order her new robes (promised to be at Hogwarts within the week, or they're free), and then on to Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop to gather some of the necessities.

After a while, James, Sirius, and Peter finally caught back up with them, and the group headed off to The Three Broomsticks for a round of butterbeers. Once they were seated, Hermione stared at James pointedly. "Have a bit of fun earlier, did you?"

"Why whatever do you mean, Hermione dear?" he asked innocently.

She noticed Remus give him an exasperated look and sighed. "You may not find anything wrong with what you're doing to Severus, but I guarantee that it will leave lasting damage that your children will have to suffer through someday."

Remus looked at her with raised eyebrows. She bit her lower lip, remembering the promise she had made to herself not to tell them about the future.

"So old Snivellus is going to be a professor, eh? Well, I pity the children who have to sit through the greasy git's lessons," Sirius said coldly.

Hermione took a sip of her butterbeer, leaning her elbow against the table with her chin resting on one fist. Setting her mug down, she turned her head to look over at Remus. "I think we should go get those textbooks now. Don't you agree?"

"Quite right," he said softly, setting his mug down on the table beside hers and standing. "I suppose we shall see you three back at the school if you don't catch up with us on the way."

As they were walking out, Hermione was quite certain she heard Peter say, "D'you think we'll ever get him back again?"


	6. A Momentary Reprieve

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Chapter Five: A Momentary Reprieve

Days had passed, but Hermione could still remember what Peter had said as she and Remus were walking out. It was true, Hermione had been taking up a great deal of his time, but she hadn't realized that any of them had resented it until then.

Therefore, Hermione was quite pleased when, on the day of the Quidditch match against Slytherin, Sirius came up to the library to drag herself and Remus down to watch. It had been a great while since Hermione had taken in a decent game of Quidditch, and Gryffindor vs. Slytherin matches were always intense.

"Hermione, Remus," Sirius said, greeting each one in turn. "It's time for the match, you know? Come on," he had prodded, poking Remus in the arm playfully.

Remus glared at Sirius for a second, then glanced at Hermione skeptically. She looked from him to Sirius, then firmly stated, "We'd love to come down."

She packed up their books, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Let's bring these up to the common room first, though."

A few minutes later, the three were on their way down to the Quidditch stadium. "I'm glad you came willingly," Sirius said, coming up beside her, "because I promised James that you would be there, and the idea of tying you up and dragging you didn't seem too appealing."

"Indeed, it doesn't," Remus said, looking around Sirius to catch her eyes. Hermione noticed that he seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "I'm actually glad you came up to retrieve us. We needed a bit of a break from all that studying and research we've been doing."

"I agree completely. Unfortunately, the break can't be too long though because we do have the O.W.L.s to worry about at the end of term," Hermione said. It was odd, but for the first time ever, she wasn't looking forward to the end of the term exams. Usually she was pleased to take them, and she always did well, but this year she was dreading the idea of tests. Perhaps I've been spending too much time with this lot, she thought with a small laugh.

"What's so funny?" Sirius asked curiously, but Hermione merely shrugged. "No matter, we're almost there."

The Quidditch stadium and pitch was another thing that hadn't seemed to change in twenty years. The benches were just as worn looking now as they had looked in the future, and the grass seemed to be the same shade of green.

Hermione, Remus, and Sirius all hurried to the Gryffindor section of the stands where Peter had been saving them a front-row spot. He pulled four pairs of magnifying goggles out of a bag by his feet, handing one to each of their little group.

She thanked him, holding the lenses up to her eyes and scanning the sky for James. She finally saw him, shooting down the middle of the pitch with the Quaffle in hand. In fact, if it wasn't for the Quaffle he was holding, Hermione would have easily been able to mistake him for Harry.

__

Harry. I wonder what he's doing right now, she thought. Would he be in the middle of a lesson, or was there a Quidditch match in their time too? Would Dumbledore have reassured him that she would be all right, or did the Dumbledore of her time even know what had happened? Did everyone think she was dead, or simply gone away? Better yet, did anyone think of her at all?

Hermione felt the goggles slip from her hands, landing on the stand with an loud thump. Peter and Remus turned to look at her, while Sirius merely glanced from her to the goggles and then turned his attention back to the game. She could feel the other two boys' eyes boring into her, and she backed away as if their gazes were acidic.

"Hermione, are you all right?"

She heard Remus's concerned voice float into her mind, but could not bring herself to form the words to answer him. Hermione stumbled back again, bumping into her housemates as she groped her way along the rail to the stairs.

"Hey! Watch it!" someone shouted at her, but she continued pushing on.

"Hermione?" Remus was coming closer to her now, closer with every step until he was nearly on top of her.

She turned, calling "I'm sorry" over her shoulder as she bolted out of the stadium and onto the grounds below. Hermione tried running through the snow that blanketed the ground, but it would not allow it. It was early March, and the air was bitingly cold, stinging her lungs with every gasping breath she dragged in.

"Hermione!"

She could hear his footsteps pounding onto the frozen ground behind her, but she never slowed her pace. She had to get away; she needed to think. _Harry, Ron... where are you?_

"Hermione!"

His hand was upon her shoulder, and she swung out with her arm, connecting with his rib cage. He released her with a slight groan. The footsteps continued. It would take more than that to lose him.

"Hermione?"

He reached out to her again, but she brushed him away, continuing on her path towards, well, anywhere but the Quidditch stadium she supposed. Finally, he resigned himself to just following her, calling her name out every once in a while as if to check that she really existed at all.

After an hour of wandering in the bitter cold, Hermione finally paused by the lake. She was shivering, but it didn't matter to her. All she could think of was Ron and Harry. Their faces were emblazoned on her mind, consuming her thoughts, until finally, all she could do was sob. The tears flowed freely, as they had been threatening to do for so many months now.

Hermione felt his arms first. They surrounded her, ever so gently, until finally she was crushed against his chest, his face buried in her hair as hers was in his robes. They stood there for what seemed like an eternity, her staining his robes with her grief, and he whispering comforting words into her ear.

In fact, it was his soft breath against her ear that broke Hermione from her fit of tears. Pulling away from him, she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her robe and sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't intend for you to see me like this."

"Like what?" he asked softly. "All I see is the same girl that I've always seen. The brave one that lost her entire existence in a moment, but never let it weaken her." He seemed to study her carefully for a moment, then pulled her closer to him until she was flush against him. "Every day you amaze me, Hermione. No one else could handle everything you do and still be so beautiful inside."

She sniffled, wishing, for a moment, that she could just melt into his arms and forget about all her worries. But it was just for a moment, and after it had passed, the weight of her situation came crashing back down again and the tears returned. "I know you think I'm strong, but I'm not. I'm just a weak, tired little girl who wants to go back home."

He pulled back again, and she looked up at him with wide, tearful eyes. For the second time that week, her breath caught in her throat. However, this time it was due to the fact that Remus Lupin was leaning in dangerously close to her lips. Closer, closer, and then suddenly they were upon hers and she could think of nothing else but this kiss, in this moment, and how perfect it all seemed.

But that moment could only last for so long, and when they parted, she felt the bitter cold seep into her once more.

Hermione touched her lips in shock, then looked up at him. "I'm sorry," she murmured as she half-ran, half-stumbled her way towards the school. This time, the footsteps didn't follow.


	7. A Life So Missed

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Chapter Six: A Life So Missed

Upon arriving in the Gryffindor common room, Hermione threw herself on the sofa and buried her face in a pillow. Lucky for her, most of the house was at the Quidditch match supporting their mates, and the rest seemed to be occupied elsewhere. Sniffling, Hermione glanced into the flames, remembering all the times she had sat in that very spot with Ron and Harry. Will I ever see them again, she wondered, vaguely aware of the sound of a door opening.

She groaned, hoping that whoever it was would head up to the dormitories without noticing her there. The last thing she wanted right now was false sympathy from some person who didn't even know her name. All of her hopes were dashed though, when she heard gentle footsteps coming closer to where she rested. Hermione stiffened, praying that it was anyone but _him_.

A gentle hand rested on her shoulder, but Hermione did not look up. She had little need to. "Go away, Remus. I just want to be alone." She heard him sigh, and the gentle weight was removed immediately. She shuddered as the bitter cold feeling returned. Why are things so complicated, she wondered.

His soft footsteps rang through the room, and she assumed that he was leaving. She felt tears form behind her closed eyelids at the difficulty of it all, but managed to keep them from flooding through. A soft, hot breath caressed her face, and she opened her eyes, peering up at him. "Don't you ever listen?" she asked, choking back tears.

He shook his head, smiling down at her. "Just something I picked up from James and Sirius." He reached a hand out, cupping her cheek with a sad smile. "You had no reason at all to apologize to me. That... well, it was my fault, Hermione. You were upset, and I took advantage of that, and therefore, I am the one who must apologize to you."

Hermione frowned at the idea of Remus ever taking advantage of anyone. "It wasn't your fault at all. I was clinging to you and it was all rather confusing. I shouldn't have let it go that far. I should have had sense enough to step away instead of..."

She sniffled, biting back tears. "I miss my life the way that things used to be. Everything was so simple. I went to class and did well, and that was that. I just miss them so much, Remus. I miss watching them play Quidditch and helping them survive whatever mischief they're causing without too much harm. I miss laughing with them in the common room and helping them with their Potions work the night before it's due. I miss Ron's stupid grin and Harry's dumb laugh. I miss watching them play wizards chess while I pretend to read a book. God, I even miss hearing Malfoy call me a 'Mudblood', if only because being around him meant that Harry and Ron were close by. Why did this have to happen? Why was I stupid enough to let them trick me into coming to the dungeon? I should have known that Harry and Ron wouldn't have sent for me. They would have come and found me themselves, just like they always had. They were always there for me, and now I've left them."

She felt him sigh, his breath a warm breeze against her cool skin. "You weren't stupid. Whatever happened, it couldn't have been your fault. You didn't ask to be stuck here with us, and I'm sorry that you have to go through this, Hermione. I swear to you, I'll search until the end of the world to find a way to send you back to them with as little damage caused as possible. I apologize that it's taken so long with no clues thus far."

She shook her head, as much as possible with his hand still against her cheek. "It's not your fault at all. Don't you understand, Remus? None of this is your fault. You have changed your life around just to accommodate me, which is more than I ever would have asked from anyone. You've... changed... your... life..." she trailed off, the weight of those words hitting her. Simply by being there, she had altered the past and changed the relationship between the boys. Who knew what irreparable damage she had done and how much of the future she had changed.

Hermione's tears flowed freely again. "What have I done? I've ruined everything. Now Harry may never be born and I may never be... I may never be born," she said softly, burying her face in a pillow once more.

Remus dropped his hand from her cheek. She heard him shift; he was kneeling in front of her now. His arms slipped under her, dragging her up against his chest. She leaned into him, clinging to his robes with her face crushed against his neck. In one fluid motion, he was sitting on the couch, the upper part of her body draped over him as her legs trailed out on the couch beside them. "It will be okay. We'll get you home, just wait and see. I promise that we'll find a way."

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Author's Notes: Ugh... there was too much sighing in that chapter. Oh well, it'll get happier eventually, I swear.

I'd just like to thank my reviewers thus far; fionfee, Kath, nikkla, Dragon Blade5, and rane2920072.

Just a few little comments:

nikkla - I completely understand your comment about how most of these types of stories are rubbish. I actually read a few last night, but most didn't bother thoroughly explain why whoever it was got sent back and the reactions are completely wrong. I'm glad you find this one to be better.

Dragon Blade5 - Don't fret, things will be better a few chapters from now, I swear. And you definitely didn't sound mean.

rane2920072 - She won't be running far, I promise.


	8. The Consequences of Falling

__

Are you breathing, what I'm breathing

Are your wishes the same as mine

Are you needing, what I'm needing

I'm waiting for a sign

My hands tremble, my heart aches

Is it you calling

If I'm alone in this, I don't think I can face

The consequences of falling

(The Consequences of Falling - K.D. Lang)

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Chapter Seven: The Consequences of Falling

It was a full moon. Remus hadn't come out and told her his secret, but she knew. She had known since that day in her past, their future, when the boggart had become the full moon. She hadn't pressed him to reveal it, but hoped that, eventually, he would do so himself.

"Hey 'mione!" Hermione turned around, staring at the boy behind her. It was James Potter, and he was bounding down the stairs with something in his arms. "I need your help."

Hermione cocked an eyebrow, looking at him curiously. "What now, James? You always seem to need my help with something."

"We have, erm... something that we have to be doing tonight, but we forgot to gather the ingredients for Potions tomorrow morning. It's our first class of the day, and I know we aren't going to have time to get some before breakfast. Do you think you could go out on the grounds to find them?"

"And how do you propose I do that?" she asked with a bemused look. She had a feeling that she knew the answer already.

"With this, of course," he said, holding the invisibility cloak out to her. She took it, running her hands over it gently. She could still remember all the adventures she, Harry, and Ron had had under this very cloak.

"I imagine I'll have to do it, but only because my grade is resting on this potion as well. I really never should have assigned you and Sirius to find the ingredients, I suppose."

James flashed her one of his award-winning smiles, "Thanks a lot, Hermione. You really are fantastic."

She rolled her eyes, "Just go. I should hurry before it gets too dark."

James nodded, sprinting off down the corridor. She watched him grow smaller, until finally he turned a corner and was out of her view. Sighing, she tucked the cloak into her bag to save until dark and headed toward the door to the castle.

"So, I need daisy roots, skinned shrivelfig, caterpillar, a rat spleen, and leech juice," she said, reading from a list. "Well, I already have some left over leech juice from the last potion we had to make, and the professor is providing us with skinned shrivelfigs. So that leaves... daisy roots and a rat spleen."

Hermione wandered up and down the lakeside, surprised at how scarce the daisies were this year. Spring usually brought a great deal of the pesky weeds, but this year, Hermione was hard-pressed to find a single one. "Perhaps it's due to the potion the professor assigned," she said to herself, stooping to pluck a lone daisy from the ground. She dug in the dirt carefully, being sure to gather the all-important roots. The daisy she tucked into her bushy mane as she searched the area for more.

It began to get dark, but the light of the rising moon allowed her enough light to make her way across the grounds. She dragged the invisibility cloak out of her bag, pulling it over top of her. She bent once more, digging for more roots and putting more flowers in her hair. Soon, she had a small bag full of roots. "I just need to find a rat's spleen.

She looked up, the lights of a house burning into her eyes. "Perhaps Hagrid can help. Then again, he doesn't know who I am, now does he?" She hurried to the little house, pausing to peek through the window at the giant man inside. He was sitting in front of the fire, sipping from a mug of something.

Hermione walked to the door and knocked. She heard his heavy footsteps as he came to the door. Opening it, she watched as he looked out towards her. He just kept staring, and Hermione wondered why he didn't acknowledge her. Suddenly, it hit her. She pulled the invisibility cloak off and grinned as he jumped back.

"Yeh mus' be one o' James Potter's friends then." He stepped back, allowing Hermione to enter. "What class is it fer this time?"

Hermione's grin widened considerably. Harry truly was just like James. "Potions, of course. We need rat spleens, but I can't find any rats wandering around the grounds that are willing to offer me theirs."

Hagrid smiled and walked over to a cabinet, pulling out a rather large jar. He dumped a small amount of the contents into a smaller jar and handed it to her with a nod. "That'll be what yeh're needin'. I'm Hagrid, by the way, Rubeus Hagrid, keeper of keys and grounds. You don' look familiar... are yeh new?"

Hermione shifted on her feet uncomfortably, "Er... yes. I've transferred just this year. I'm Hermione Granger," she said, offering him her hand to shake. He took it, smiling at her.

"Well, any friend o' James is a friend o' mine. S'pose yeh mus' know Sirius, Remus, an' Peter then too, eh? Never met a better group o' troublemakers."

Hermione nodded, "I'm sure." She glanced out the window and took a deep breath. The night was getting darker, and it appeared that the moon was slipping behind a cloud. Soon she'd have no way of finding her way through the grounds to get back. "I'm terribly sorry, but it's getting rather late. I must be hurrying back to the school now."

Hagrid nodded, "That's fine. Stop by fer tea anytime yeh'd like. Bring James an' the rest o' 'em with yeh."

"Thanks again, Hagrid," Hermione said as she hurried out the door, pulling it shut behind her. She shivered as the cool air hit her face. It might be spring, but it was still chilly. She pulled the cloak over her head, clutching it around her as she quickly closed the gap between Hagrid's and the school.

A noise in the woods beside her caught her attention. Hermione stopped in her tracks, squinting into the darkness, searching for the source. She heard a low growl behind her and spun around quickly. Her heart stopped as she saw what was standing barely twenty feet away.

The werewolf looked around, sniffing the air curiously. Hermione began to back away, but she stumbled and fell, the cloak slipping off her and pooling on the ground. The creature snarled, and Hermione knew that she had been spotted.

She closed her eyes, waiting for the worst, but it never came. She took a deep breath and opened them, surprised to find a large, black dog standing between the beast and herself. The dog growled low in its throat, keeping itself between Hermione and the creature at all times. She stood quickly, pulling the cloak back over her head and bolting for the school.

In the distance, she heard the werewolf lung at the dog and the sound of barking and snarling. The last sound she heard was that of a stag charging before she slammed the door shut on the night.

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The next morning, Hermione found herself sitting at the breakfast table alone. She had fallen asleep in the common room, waiting for the boys to come in, but they had not returned.

With a soft sigh, she poured herself another glass of orange juice, munching on a bit of toast. She was lonely, that was nothing new, but it was worse when the boys weren't around. She still missed Harry and Ron all the time, but at least when Remus, James, Sirius, and Peter were there, she didn't feel quite so alone.

"D'you miss us?" James asked, plopping down on the bench beside her. He put an arm around her shoulder, and she rolled her eyes.

"I got the ingredients for the potion so you can stop whatever tactic you were going to try right now." She glanced around the table, noting that Remus was the only one not present.

Peter smiled, "Thanks so much Hermione. I definitely would have failed without it. You're the greatest," he added admiringly.

"Try not to wet yourself, Wormtail," Sirius said sarcastically, but he threw Hermione a thankful grin anyway. "So, how was your ingredient collecting last night, 'mione?" he asked curiously.

Hermione's face took on a shielded look. "I picked the daisy roots and then got the rat's spleen from Hagrid. There was... an incident... on the way back, but it's all right. Why do you ask?"

Sirius gave her a worried look. He leaned in, speaking quietly, "I was there, 'mione. You knew I'm an animagus, correct? Well, that was me last night."

"I... I knew. It just happened so quickly. I wasn't expecting... thank you, Sirius."

He shrugged, "It was nothing. You know about him though, don't you?"

Hermione nodded slowly. "That night that you found me, when I told you that I knew Remus before... Well, he was my Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in my third year. He taught us how to handle boggarts, and when his turned into a full moon, I knew. Eventually, Snape let it out to the whole school, so he had to quit his job, but I knew before..."

"He feels awful, Moony does. It's difficult you see. Usually when we're with him, it's not so bad, you know? But last night was different. Final night of the full moon and all... he got away from us for a minute, and before we knew it, we were back on Hogwarts grounds. Padfoot got there before I did, and I'd say it's lucky he did." James let his arm fall from her shoulder and looked at her very seriously. "You know that when he changes, he has no control, right? He never would hurt you any other time. It's not like people think."

"I know," Hermione said softly. "I'm extremely grateful that you two were there. I just wish that I hadn't been out there in the first place. Then we wouldn't even have to worry about it." James looked at her apologetically and opened his mouth to speak, but she put her hand over it gently. "It's not your fault, James, so don't blame yourself. We needed potions ingredients. I shouldn't have stayed with Hagrid for so long. If I had hurried back to the castle instead of wandering about, I wouldn't have been outside after dark. I knew that the moon was full. I know the risks that come with it."

Hermione looked around the table, but Remus still had not come down to breakfast. "Where is he?"

Sirius looked from Peter to James and then Hermione before speaking. "He's in the boys' dormitory. He doesn't want to see you."

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It had been a week since the incident during the full moon, but Remus had yet to speak to Hermione again. He had apologized profusely from the doorway of the dormitories, but had turned and hurried back up before she could get a word in herself.

Sitting in the common room one afternoon, Hermione glanced around and groaned. The room was filled with first and second years. Nearly everyone else had gone to Hogsmeade for the day, leaving Hermione to sit and think. She had begun dreading the idea of thinking because it always led to thoughts of Harry and Ron, and today was no exception. Therefore, she was pleased to see James come down from the dormitories with Sirius and Peter in tow.

"He's still not speaking to me, is he?" she asked as the three came over and sat around her.

James shrugged, "He'll get over it eventually, Hermione. You've got to understand that Remus is a very sensitive bloke, and he worries about you. He just doesn't want to be the one to cause you any harm."

Hermione looked at him sternly, "Well, please inform him that he is hurting me more by ignoring me than he ever could in any other way." The boys looked at her with wide eyes. She knew that she had only ever been pleasant around them, but this was just too much. "Well, what are you waiting for?" she asked in her best McGonagall voice.

One by one, the boys quickly shot up, hurrying toward the staircase to find their comrade.

It only took a few moments before they came back again, dragging the fourth member of their group between them. They shoved him toward the couch, muttering excuses of homework that needed finishing as they hurried away. When they were gone, she turned toward Remus, who was looking anywhere in the room but at her.

"I'm over here, you know," she said as he admired a particularly boring painting of a stuffy old wizard. He turned to glance at her, but his eyes quickly fell toward the floor.

They sat together in silence for what seemed like hours. When he finally spoke, it was in a soft, forlorn manner. "Why do you care so much, Hermione?"

She noticed that he never stopped studying a stain on the carpet, but at least he was speaking to her now. "I care because you're important to me, Remus, and I thought that I was beginning to be important to you as well. Now, well, I have to wonder if that's really true."

He looked up at her, and she smiled amiably. He moaned softly, wringing his hands in his lap nervously. "I do care, 'mione. I care about you too much, and that's why I can't be near you anymore. I know that I'll only end up hurting you, and that's the farthest thing from what I want. I'll still search for a way to get you back home, but by myself this time. I don't want to put you in any more danger. Last night..."

"Last night was my own fault, Remus."

"I could have killed you last night, Hermione, and I refuse to let that happen," he finished, looking away once more.

"Then I suppose I'll have to keep myself indoors during the full moon from now on, won't I?" She sighed angrily, "You don't want this, and I know that I most definitely do not. You have become one of my closest friends. You're one of the only people who keep me sane around here, and without you, I don't know what would happen to me. Whenever I'm around you, I forget, at least for a little while, that I don't really belong here. That's all because of you; you make me feel like I belong."

Remus's eyes flickered from her to the floor and back. Hermione slid closer to him on the couch, and he shifted. Though she didn't want to make him uncomfortable by any means, she knew that this was right. She reached a hand out to cup his cheek, as he had done to her in the very same spot, but instead of letting it linger and then drop, she pulled his face closer to hers.

Leaning in, Hermione closed her eyes as her lips met his in a soft, chaste kiss. His hands, which had been in constant motion earlier, immediately became still and he stiffened slightly. Hermione pulled back a little and opened her eyes, stifling a giggle at the sight in front of her. He sat, perfectly still, with his eyes still closed, as if he were in shock. Hermione closed her eyes again and brought her lips back to his.

This time, he seemed to relax until, finally, one of his hands was on the back of her head, deepening the kiss, and the other was on her back, pulling her closer to him. When they finally pulled away, both of them opened their eyes to look at each other and smiled.

This time, no one said they were sorry.

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Author's Notes: Just thought I would say that I really enjoyed writing the majority of this chapter. The Hagrid part was a pain in the arse, but only because I wanted to get his accent as accurate as possible.

Anyway just some more comments:

Lonelyfairy - Thanks so much for the insanely positive feedback! Oooh... bribes of cookies. I like this idea very much. Just make them chocolate chip and it'll be just peachy.

Dragon Blade5 - They do just fit, don't they? I believe I gave you your wish for more Remus/Hermione fluff, so hopefully you liked this as much as the earlier bits. Thank you so much for all your positive feedback. No matter how many times it's said, I always appreciate hearing that people like my work.

Galadriel - Thank you!

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A Preview of What's to Come: Remus finds the spell to send Hermione home again.


	9. Never An Absolution

****

Chapter Eight: Never An Absolution

Hermione had never intended for things to be awkward, but it was becoming increasingly so. She was never sure how to act around Remus anymore. She wanted to go home, but at the same time, she wanted to be with him. Still, despite whatever feelings he may have had for her, he continued helping her look for a way home every day.

They were in the library one particular day when he jumped up, pointing toward a passage in a book excitedly. "I've found it! I've found it, Hermione!" he cried out, earning a cold glare from Madame Pince, the librarian.

Sitting down beside her, he pulled the book over for her to look at it. From the description provided, it seemed, to her, that it was, in fact, the correct spell. She looked over at him and smiled sadly. "Thanks for everything, Remus."

Standing up, she picked up her books and stuffed them in her bag. He looked at her curiously, "Aren't you happy, Hermione? I know you've been waiting for this for a long time."

He was right. She had been waiting for this moment for months now, but did she care anymore? She wasn't entirely sure. "I need to be alone for a little while. Please, just let me..."

Remus nodded agreeably, but looked slightly upset by the recent developments. She leaned down, kissing his cheek gently. "I'll see you in the common room," she promised, turning to walk out the door.

She wandered the corridors for a little while, finally deciding to go down to sit by the lake where it was quiet. Most of the kids were studying for their final exams now, and she knew that she should be doing so as well, but none of that mattered to her right now.

Coming to a stop by a low-hanging willow tree, she set her bag down and leaned her back against the trunk. After months of waiting, the moment she had been hoping for had finally arrived, and she was afraid. What would happen to the boys if she were to leave, she wondered. Would they go about their lives as if she never existed? Would it tear them apart? What would this do to her relationship with Professor Lupin in her own time?

There were so many questions running through Hermione's mind. So many worries that she wasn't prepared to deal with. She was so intensely lost in thought that she didn't hear Sirius coming until he began sitting down beside her.

"I kind of thought you'd be down here," he said casually.

She glanced over at him, "And to what do I owe this conversation, Sirius?"

"You can thank Moony for this actually. He was a bit worried about you, so he came to find me. Figured I'd be able to sniff you out or something, I suppose."

Hermione smiled slightly, "He's a werewolf though. Shouldn't he be able to sniff me out himself?"

"Ah yes, but only a few days a month, you know."

She sighed. "I know these little quips aren't the reason why you came out here. What do you want to talk about, Padfoot."

He raised his eyebrow at her, and with good reason, she supposed. She never called them by their nicknames. "He loves you, you know."

Hermione looked at him skeptically. "You can't be serious." She groaned at her own accidental pun. "I didn't mean... oh for heaven's sake. There's no way that he loves me."

"He as good as told me so just a minute ago actually. He's just afraid to do anything that may confuse you because he doesn't want to be the only reason why you decide not to go home. In fact, he didn't even want me to come and tell you all this because he knows how much you're looking forward to seeing your friends again and refuses to be the one to hold you back. Personally, I think he's being too bloody noble, but perhaps that's just because I'm a git."

"I've thought about that a lot actually. What I would do when the time came to go home. The funny thing is, now I'm not quite sure what I want. Every day, I seem to become more and more attached to you lot, and now the idea of leaving scares me almost as much as the thought of staying." Hermione sighed once more, "I just haven't any idea what I should do anymore. I just want to be happy, but the thing is, I'm not entirely sure what will make me so."

Sirius nodded slightly, "It's okay to not know. And we don't even have to do the spell right now, you know? It can always wait a month or so, until you're certain that you're ready to go. Just keep in mind, he's not used to having someone care about him. He's vulnerable, Hermione, and he doesn't make himself that way for many people. I just want what's best for my best friend, and I hope that you feel the same way. If you decide to go, let him down easy, eh?"

Hermione acquiesced, "I'll do my best to make everything as easy as possible for him. You may not believe it, Sirius, but I'm familiar with the feeling of being vulnerable. Just know that I would never willingly hurt him in any way."

Sirius rested a hand on her shoulder before pushing himself off the ground. Standing in front of her, he simply said, "Think about it," and then walked off toward the castle once more.

Hermione moaned, leaning her head back against the tree trunk and closing her eyes. There was too much to think about right now. Harry and Ron were waiting for her back in her own time. Who knew what kind of things had happened since she had disappeared in November. After all, it was May and a lot of things **can **(and do tend) to happen in that span of time. What would they think of all of this? Would they tell me to come home, or to stay with our future professor? All of this thinking is beginning to give me a headache, she decided with a frown.

Could he really love me, she wondered vaguely. "No matter," Hermione said to herself as she stood, following in Sirius's wake.

There was someone she needed to see.

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Author's Note: I know this one is short, and I promise profusely. But hey... you got a long one last time, didn't you? Huh? Huh? Hehe... now I'm just being annoying.

Another Author's Note: Generally, I hate jokes about the pronunciation of Sirius's name, but I had to leave Hermione's accidental pun in there because I got into one of my little moods where I wasn't thinking about what I was writing and then looked back and really did groan. Lol, so Hermione's reaction is based on my real-life one. Yeah, see, I can ramble about this because I'm the author... so there. sighs Anyway, thanks to my reviewers. You guys rock my socks, or something of that sort.


	10. Decisions, Decisions

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Chapter Nine: Decisions, Decisions

Hermione walked into the Great Hall, scanning the crowd at Gryffindor table for the face she was seeking out. Having found the target of her attention, she hurried over, tapping them on the shoulder lightly.

Hermione's amber eyes were met with a pair of shocking green ones as the girl turned to look behind her. "Oh, hello Hermione! I haven't seen you in a while," Lily Evans said, looking quite pleased to see her.

Hermione nodded sheepishly, "I'm really sorry, Lily. I've just been so busy with everything that's been going on. Well, I was actually wondering if you had some time to just talk right now. I could really use some advice, and I can't think of anyone better to go to for something of this sort."

Lily smiled, "Of course. I'd be more than happy to help you. Perhaps you can return the favor actually."

And with that, Lily stood, following Hermione out of the room and into the corridor. "I thought perhaps we could go to the library. At least there it should be quiet, and perhaps more private than anywhere else."

The two girls walked on, finally finding themselves at their destination. A quick peek around a bookcase showed her that Remus was no longer sitting at their usual table. "Perhaps one in the back?" Lily suggested, leading her through rows of bookcases and to a small, secluded table. "So, what did you need to talk to me about?" Lily asked, after they had seated themselves.

Hermione blushed. "It's rather embarrassing actually." She ducked her head, but continued on, "I'm in the middle of this _situation_ with Remus Lupin..."

"I knew it!"

"Lily, please, don't interrupt."

"Sorry."

"Like I was saying, there's this _situation_ that I'm currently in with him. It's rather difficult to explain really. Well, you know that I transferred here this year... well, I've been given the option to return home. I honestly like it here, but I miss my family and friends from home more than I can explain. The thing is, I really think that I'm beginning to develop feelings for Remus, but I'm too afraid to tell him. And from what I can tell, he's in the same situation as I am. He's too afraid to say anything because he doesn't want to hold me back, but I'm beginning to think that maybe that's what I need."

"So let me get this correctly. You've been given the option to go home, which seems like a really great thing, but yet you don't want to leave Remus behind." Lily sighed, 'Well, I suppose that's not as complicated as it seemed, but I'm really not sure what you should do. It's obvious that you really like him, but from what I've heard, it also seems like you really miss your home. And I'm assuming that bringing him with you isn't an option?"

Hermione shook her head. That would be interesting, she thought with a small smile. "I knew it would wind up a mess."

"Want to talk about a mess, do you? Try having an immense crush on the most egotistical boy in school."

Hermione smiled, "You like James then?"

"Is it that obvious?"

This caused her to smile even more. "Just a bit. Besides, the description would have given it away if your attitude didn't. As far as I can tell, he likes you too, and that's why he's being such a pompous git about everything. If you can just get past the fact that he thinks the world revolves around him and his broomstick, then you should make a fine couple."

Lily smiled, "Thanks a lot, Hermione." She looked at the clock on the wall beside them. "As great as it's been talking to you, I really need to go. I have a study group to lead and all." She started walking toward the door, then thought better of it and turned around. "No matter what, I hope you make the choice you think is right for **you**." And with that, she was gone.

Hermione stared out the window for several moments, thinking about everything she had learned and talked about during that day. Once again, she was plagued with the question of whether Remus really loved her or not. Either way, it didn't matter though. Hermione knew what she had to do.

She stood, leaving the library on her way to the Gryffindor common room.

Her decision was made.

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Author's Note: I hate this chapter. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. It's hastily, and horribly written, and I regret ever writing it. Unfortunately, it was a necessary part of the story, so I had to post it. Bet you thought she was going to see Remus though.

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A Preview of What's to Come: Hermione deals with some troublesome thoughts.


	11. The Goodbye Girl

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Chapter Ten: The Good-bye Girl

Hermione walked into the common room, her eyes trained on the floor. She didn't want to see the look of worry on any of their faces, though she knew that it was inevitable. A pair of arms wrapped around her hesitantly, and she leaned into them, willing herself to melt once more into his gentle heat. But when he pulled away moments later, the cold swept in again.

"I was worried. Sirius said he spoke to you earlier. I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean for..." She put her hand to his lips, stopping his apology before it truly began. She moved her hands so that one rested on each of his shoulders and brought her lips up to touch his once more. She felt his rest on her hips, and she wanted to smile. There were so many things she wanted to do.

She pulled back, regrettably, and looked into his stormy gray eyes. She could sense his confusion, and wanted to cry for him, but couldn't bring herself to do it. She ran her hand up his neck till it cupped his cheek and smiled sadly. This was a position they seemed familiar with, but to Hermione, every time was like the first.

He looked as if he wanted to speak, but she stopped him with another well-placed kiss. It didn't matter that all eyes were on the two of them, as they stood, in the center of the room, in such a private embrace. Finally, she pulled away and dropped her hands to her side, looking down at the floor solemnly.

"I've decided to go home."

She knew the words crushed him even as she spoke them, but she couldn't stop herself. After all, it was what she wanted, wasn't it? She had been after this for so long. What could be significant enough to stop her from reaching out and taking what she had longed for since that fateful day in November when she had awoken in the dungeons to find herself twenty years in the past? What could make her want to stay?

He bit his lip until she was sure he would draw blood, then looked at her despondently. "I had a feeling you would." He moved backward, putting distance between them, and motioned toward the couch by the fireplace.

She looked, seeing all of the same items from the original ritual set out in a circle. She turned to gaze at him once more, but his eyes were no longer hers. Instead, he was addressing all their housemates in the common room, looking everywhere but at her, like he had once before. "As your prefect, I would like to ask you to please go to your dormitories. We will be performing very complex magic here, with Dumbledore's permission of course, that I would rather not have you exposed to. I will inform you as to when you will be free to come down once more."

Hermione watched in surprise as all of the students got up and headed toward their rooms. All except James, Sirius, and Peter, of course. Sirius was looking at her with reproachful eyes. She sighed, feeling her own brimming with tears. This is your choice, yet you're still getting teary-eyed, a voice in her head sneered. She wiped her eyes with her hand, walking toward the fireplace, and the center of the circle.

"Stand there. You three," he said, motioning to James and the others, "just go over there so you don't get caught up in it."

Hermione looked at the three of them, wishing that one of them, any of them, would beg her to stay. But no one would, she realized. They all wanted her to do what was best, but was she? Was she truly doing what she felt was right in her heart?

Who cares what your heart thinks, she told herself. After all, she would be back in her own time, and soon she would forget that she had spent almost a school term in the company of Harry's father and his friends. She would forget all about the feelings she had had for her future Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and the fact that he had given her hope when she had none left herself. She would forget that for the first time in her life, she felt as if she had a place where she truly belonged. She would forget the way that his arms felt as he held her, and the way that the cold seeped into her when he let go. She would forget his kindness when no one else was there for her. She would forget the way that it felt to kiss him.

"I'll miss you, Hermione." She heard James call out. There seemed to be a wind in the room, though none of the windows were opened. Remus had started the incantation.

"I'll miss you too; James, Sirius, Peter," she paused, "Remus."

He didn't look at her, but continued the incantation as if she had never spoken. Only his eyes, those cool gray orbs, betrayed his feelings. They were overflowing with silent tears. She wanted to reach out to him, but she knew that it was impossible. He had started the incantation. It would all be over soon.

"Look us up in twenty years, won't you?" Sirius asked with a chuckle. "You never know, we could still be the handsome devils that we are now."

"I'll be sure to remember that." She had to shout over the wind now. it was surrounding them. Even though nothing stirred, the air was alive with the sound of it.

The room was bathed in a soft blue light, and she was beginning to get dizzy. I'm going home, she thought. But instead of being happy, she was completely emotionless.

Was this really what I wanted, she wondered. Looking at Remus, she felt a strong tug at her heart. He loved her. He loved her so much that he was sacrificing his happiness in order to please her. In order to send her home to a place where she wasn't even sure she wanted to be anymore.

Please, look up at me so I'll know, she pleaded with him silently, but it was of no use. He continued staring at the ground, saying the incantation as loudly and strongly as ever. Would he remember this in twenty years, she wondered. Or would Dumbledore perform a memory charm so things wouldn't be uncomfortable around them in the future. What would happen to her? Would he take away the memories of his face, his kiss?

"I don't want to forget," Hermione whispered, but the words fell on deaf ears. The wind was now so loud that she could feel the roar of it echoing throughout her body. Funny, she hadn't remembered this wind the last time.

"I don't want to forget!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, hoping someone would hear her and pull her out before it was too late. That's what I want, she realized. I want someone to rescue me from this, but no one will.

There was a look of sorrow and confusion on her face, and then Hermione moved.

The world around her went black.

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Author's Note: Yes this was short, but at least I'm getting the chapters out frequently. Yes, I borrowed the name from an episode of 'The O.C.', but it's fitting, wouldn't you say? I know this may seem like the end, but I swear, it isn't. Don't flame me yet!

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A Preview of What's to Come: Hermione awakens.

Doesn't that just seem like one of those cryptic, soap opera teasers?


	12. A Promise Kept

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Chapter Eleven: A Promise Kept

Hermione opened her eyes. Glancing around, she felt her breath catch in her throat. She was the only one left in the common room. She picked herself up, walking over to the table in the corner where Harry and Ron played wizards chess. Picking up a copy of the Daily Prophet, she let out a soft cry when she noticed the date. _May 24th, 1996._

For months, she had been looking forward to this day, and now that it had arrived, she stood there, wishing that it was just a dream. How could she have found love and lost it so quickly?

There was a noise on the stairway across the room, and Hermione looked up. Harry, Ron, Seamus, and Dean hurried out, arguing heatedly about a Quidditch match between the Cannons and another team Hermione hadn't heard of. They all stopped when they realized she was standing there. Hermione was certain she could see tears in the eyes of two of the boys as they rushed at her, knocking her off her feet.

When she could breathe again, Hermione sat up and looked at her two best friends. They seemed at a loss for words, and she could understand why. She had been missing for exactly six months that day. It seems like yesterday, she thought sadly.

Everyone sat in silence for a moment, allowing her arrival to truly sink in. Harry was the first to speak.

"Where have you been, 'mione?"

Hermione sighed, looking up at him. "Here. I was here the whole time, only not at this time. I was at Hogwarts in the past. The nineteen-seventies to be exact."

Harry seemed to think about this for a second, then his face lit up. "You must have seen my parents!"

Hermione nodded, a pained expression in her eyes that neither of the boys seemed to notice. "Yes, I knew your parents. They befriended me when I had no one else. Your father was one of the first people I met when I found myself back in that time. They were so young and full of life, all of them."

All she wanted to do was find them again and throw herself into their arms, any of them, but it wasn't to be. James and Lily were dead. Sirius was dead. Peter was a follower of Voldemort. That just left... Remus. Does he remember me, she wondered. Or has twenty years taken the memories of what we shared away from him. She didn't quite understand how the new memories would be incorporated into his mind. Would it be like they were always there, or would he remember a time without me as well? Her mind pondered all these questions while Harry and Ron waited patiently for more of the tale.

"Listen. It's been a difficult few months, and as much as I missed you two, I think I need time alone to just sit and think." And with that, Hermione stood and hurried off to the fifth year girls' dormitories while Harry and Ron watched her go.

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Hermione threw herself upon her bed, not noticing the thick layer of dust that rose around her. She had waited for this, and now she wished it wasn't true. She thought, for a moment, that she could will herself back to him, but she knew it was to no avail. The choice had been hers, and she had made it. Was it the right one, she wondered.

He truly loved her, of that she was sure. How else could he have done what he did, without ever once taking his feelings into consideration. Was it possible that he could love her even now? Would things ever be able to work out now that he was, once again, twenty years her senior? She knew that she would make it work, no matter what, for he had awakened feelings in her that she had not known existed. The question was, would he be able to look at her the same way now that she was so young in comparison to him?

She had no way to be certain, but she would find out soon. The term was almost over, and soon she would find herself at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, and in the presence of one, Remus J. Lupin.

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Author's Note: I'm sorry this chapter is so short. I doubt this is what many of you were expecting, but I swear it will all work out in the end. I'm also sorry that this took so long compared to my other updates. I was busy moving all of my things into my new place, so I had little time for writing.

I would like to thank everyone for the reviews. Let me just respond to a few:

Angelic delirium - The intention was, in fact, to confuse you. Cliffhangers tend to be my specialty. I actually do have the whole story mapped out in front of me as I'm writing it. I realized that it tends to work out better than just rambling on without a set plot.

Rane2920072 - Eh, sometimes the future needs screwing up. But in this case, she did go back to her own time.

Captain Oblivious - As of now, I'm anticipating about four or five more chapters, but that could change. I'm already planning out a sequel though, so you'll get plenty of Remus/Hermione shippy goodness from me.


	13. What the Body Remembers

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Chapter Twelve: What the Body Remembers

Hermione stood outside number twelve Grimmauld Place with a heavy heart. The end of term had come far too quickly, and now she was about to face him once more. She had no way of knowing how much he had changed as a result of her being there with him in the past. What if he had become a bitter, loveless man, she wondered.

"Come along, Hermione, dear," Mrs. Weasley called to her. She thought of the house, and it soon appeared between numbers eleven and thirteen. Hermione followed along, dragging her trunk behind her.

Inside, there was a crash, followed by the screeching of an old hag. Mrs. Black was awake. Hermione dragged her trunk up the steps, laying it to rest just inside the door. She turned to watch as two men valiantly attempted to pull the curtain back over the old woman's portrait. One of the men had flaming red hair with a balding spot and horn-rimmed glasses. The other had sandy hair that was slightly graying from worry. Hermione stood, as if in a trance, watching Arthur Weasley and Remus Lupin.

After many minutes of struggling, they successfully pulled the curtains closed and wiped their sweaty foreheads. Any other time, the two would look almost comical, but today Hermione's mood was anything but light-hearted. Judging from the look in Remus's eyes, his was far from it as well. He stared at her for what seemed like an eternity to Hermione. Finally, he spoke. "We should talk."

She nodded, following him through the pitch black hallways with only his lighted wand tip to guide them. Finally, he found the door to his makeshift office and pushed it open, ushering her inside. She walked past him, heading toward the desk where she took a seat in front of it. He walked around, sitting on the opposite side and staring at her. She was momentarily glad for the space between them. Things were different.

"I had wondered when we would have this conversation. I should have realized... if I would have thought... you were a fifth year when you came to us. I should have realized that it would be now. I thought I would have more time to sort things out, you see."

She regarded him cautiously. "Are you telling me that you knew what was going to happen this whole time? Even when you were my teacher, you knew that I would fall in love with you one day?"

Remus sighed, "I didn't want to tell you. I had hoped that it wouldn't happen. That the past would be rewritten, but you went all the same. I don't regret it though; please, don't think that."

"I never would have thought you would regret it... but," she took a deep breath, looking over at him, "Oh Remus... what did you do after I went away?"

Remus looked away from her, staring into the fire. She knew that he was sorting things out inside, deciding what he wanted to say to her, and what he wanted to keep private. He finally turned back to her, taking in her appearance with guarded eyes. "You're exactly as I remember you." He sighed. "I was so sure that the spell hadn't worked, but when I inspected the common room, I found that you truly were gone," his voice grew shaky, but he continued on. "They tried to console me, telling me that I would find someone new; that I would love again, but all I could see was your face as you left. You looked so full of regret, and I wanted to believe that you were.

"I finished school, but I never dated again. I stayed close to the rest of _our_ group, but I had very little contact with outsiders. It didn't bother me though. I was certain that they were the only friends I would ever need. Then James and Lily died. It was then that I missed you the most. All I wanted was to be near you, and have you ease my pain, but you weren't there."

"Remus?"

"Yes, Hermione?" he asked. She wasn't sure whether he noticed that she didn't call him 'Professor Lupin,' but was grateful that he didn't say anything about it if he did.

"Do you still love me?"

He looked at her with wide, nervous eyes. She almost smiled as a familiar blush crept up and settled upon his cheeks. "I'm not... I can't... It's complicated."

She looked up at him, regarding him thoughtfully. "It's a simple question really," her voice grew soft, "Do you still love me?"

Remus looked away, as if ashamed by his lack of self-control. "Yes. I never stopped loving you. Every day, I wished that you would realize what a mistake you had made and come back to me. Even when the world was falling apart, I held fast to that hope, and it was what kept me alive in the darkest of my days." Remus shook his head disgustedly, "But it was a fool's hope. You were back with your family and friends, back where you belonged. Of course you wouldn't want to return when you knew what kind of future you would have faced with me. A future full of pain and heartache. Losing all those dearest to you in a single year. How could I blame you for staying when you knew what you would face? I suppose it must be easier to deal with knowing that it happened before you were born, when there was nothing you could truly do to help."

Hermione sighed. "I wanted to go back, but I didn't know how. You didn't exactly tell me the basics of time travel as you were setting up for the incantation. If I remember right, you barely spoke to me."

Remus's eyes narrowed. "If _I_ remember correctly, you kissed me and then announced you were leaving. What was I supposed to do, Hermione? Wish you a safe journey and a happy future?" His voice was dangerously low, his breathing getting more shallow by the minute. She could tell she was upsetting him, and that was honestly the last thing she had intended to do.

"Please, can we think about this rationally for just one moment. There's an even bigger situation that requires discussing, one that has nothing to do with my reasons for not returning. I'm here now, and I still love you. What are we going to do about this?" she asked.

He didn't speak. Instead, he stood and walked over to her side of the desk. Reaching out to her, he pulled her into his arms, bringing his lips down to hers. Hermione tensed for just a moment before melting into his arms. This kiss held things that the ones in the past had not. This kiss held a longing that had lasted through two decades of pain and regret. This kiss held hope and a promise of what was to come.

When he finally pulled back, Hermione moaned. She wanted his lips against hers again. She wanted to do things with him that she had never felt the urge to do before. "It's amazing what the body remembers," Hermione commented softly.

He looked at her, a curious sparkle dancing in his once dull eyes. "What do you mean?"

She smiled, reaching out to touch his lips. "It's been months, yet my lips seem to remember yours fairly nicely."

"How do you think mine feel? For me, it's been over twenty years."

She looked away, sucking in a breath. She hoped this wasn't going somewhere dangerous to her sanity. If he started having regrets now... if she had to live without him... to her, life wouldn't be worth it anymore. "Remus..."

"Hermione," he interrupted, "do you really want to be with an old man?"

Hermione turned her face toward his, staring into his eyes as lovingly as she had the ability to do. "To me, it's like you haven't aged a day. Your body may feel older to you, but to me, you're still the same boy that I fell in love with then."

He smiled at her. "Good answer, _Miss Granger_."

She rolled her eyes, but pulled him in for another kiss. Hermione pulled back just long enough to say, "Thank you, _Professor_."

Hermione pushed him back and stood up, reaching out for his hand. He cocked an eyebrow at her, but allowed her to lead him to the door. "What exactly are you up to?" he asked suspiciously. She looked at him, wondering if she was making a mistake, but the twinkling in his eyes contradicted the suspicion in his voice. He knew what was coming, and he was just as ready for it as she was.

She opened the door, leading him out into the hallway. "Well, it has been twenty years. I just thought I'd jog your body's memory a bit," she whispered as she pulled him toward the open door of his bedroom.

The door clicked shut behind them, and the hall was silent once more.

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Author's Note: I imagine you all know what happened at the end of this chapter, but in case you couldn't tell, let me simply say that I cannot write sex scenes well. Therefore, I made it opened ended. Perhaps they just went in there and talked... or something. As of this moment, I anticipate another three chapters after this, and then an epilogue.

Just an extra note: I'm graduating tomorrow and have parties to attend on Saturday, so if there are no updates until Sunday, that is why.

Thanks for the reviews guys!

Lonelyfairy - Thanks! I try to be fast because I know how frustrating it can get waiting for new chapters if you're really into a story.

Angelic delirium - This story is going to be strictly Hermione's point of view, but I was thinking about adding an extra chapter at the end (after the epilogue and afterword) that has Remus's point of view in regards to her leaving. A lot of his feelings were explained in this chapter though, so hopefully that gives you some insight into his character as per this story.

Crimson 3 - I know! I'm sorry it was so short, but I really just wanted to get something new out. Besides, it was just a filler to get her from returning to Remus.

Anyway, please review if you have the time. Also, I would really like to know whether anyone is interested in that extra, Remus point of view chapter. If I have enough interest, I may take the time to write it.


	14. The Truth is Spoken

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A glowing ember burning hot and burning slow

Deep within I'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you

(Sarah McLachlan - Do What You Have to Do)

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Chapter Thirteen: The Truth Is Spoken

Hermione awoke to a darkened room. Logically, she knew that it had to be daylight, but the dingy windows allowed very little light through. Glancing around the room, she noticed that her clothes were strewn about across the floor. She took a deep, shaky breath and rolled over, coming face to face with Remus.

His eyes were still closed, and she realized how peaceful he looked while he was resting. It was almost as if years off worry and care simply slipped away. For a moment, Hermione was certain she was looking at the fifteen-year-old boy she had known in the past. Her eyes trailed over his upper body. The blanket was pooled around his waist and his broad, muscular chest lay open and exposed.

Glancing down, she noticed the scars that were scattered across his flesh. She reached a hand out, running her fingertips along the longest of them all. It curved from his shoulder down to his navel, and it looked to her, as if it had been particularly deep. She thought about what had to have happened to him to give him such a mark, and she winced inside. He had been through so much in his life, more pain than he could ever possibly deserve.

Hermione felt hot, wet tears stream down her face. She couldn't imagine all the heartache that he had had to endure the past twenty years of his life, and it was all her fault. I could have spared him all of this, if only I had stayed, if only I hadn't been so selfish, she thought. But was it selfish of her to want to go home? She hadn't really belonged there, had she?

"Hermione?"

She gasped, looking up at him. His eyes were opened slightly, searching hers for something. A trace of what she was thinking, perhaps? "I'm... I'm s... sorry," she stuttered, drawing her hand away from him and next to her own body.

Remus reached up, brushing a few stray strands of hair from her face. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who should apologize." He looked at her tenderly. "You're so young. I should have known better than... you aren't even of age yet."

It was dark, but Hermione could barely make out the blush that was creeping up to his cheeks again. "Actually," she started, hesitantly, "I was apologizing for waking you. I was touching..." she reached a hand out, placing her fingertips against the longest scar once more.

He looked down and sighed. "They've been there for so long. I sometimes forget about them, you know? They're like those obnoxious birthmarks that are always there but never thought of. It's all in the past now."

"Remus..." she whispered, "I know that I'm young, but I wanted this. I was the one who initiated it, and I have no regrets at all. I love you, and I know that what we did may have been a little... rushed... but I don't want to be without you for another minute. I hope you understand. For me, it's only been a few months, but for you, it's been twenty years. Don't you feel it? We're connected somehow. We have been since the first time you kissed me, by the lake."

Remus nodded. "I understand completely. I spent almost every moment of almost every day wishing you were by my side. What happened last night... well, it's something I've been dreaming about since I was a sixteen year old boy, as you so nicely put it." He chuckled a little. "As for that kiss... I seem to remember you running away from me."

Hermione laughed, "Well, I was a bit shocked. After all, I couldn't very well tell you, but _I_ knew you were going to be my Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. That was a bit awkward, you know. Snogging my future professor and all."

Remus grinned, "Well, how does it feel to have snogged your former professor?"

Hermione noticed his grin and smiled even wider. It was good to see him happy once more. "It feels rather nice actually." She propped herself up on one elbow, resting her hand on his chest and looking down at him. "What's going to happen now? What do you think everyone will say?"

He seemed to sober up immediately, and Hermione regretted saying anything. She silently willed his smile to return, but it did not. "I suppose we'll have to tell them, won't we? I'm not sure what they'll say, but hopefully they'll accept it. I've waited too long to lose you again." His blushed seemed to deepen, though Hermione doubted that was truly possible. "Perhaps we should hold off on doing... this... again until after you're of age though."

"It's a year. What's a year really?" she asked flippantly.

He sighed. "In a few months, you'll be at school once more. It will have to wait, Hermione. We must be adult about this. After all, had you stayed, you would be an adult, and that's what I'd like to think of you as being."

"Are you embarrassed that I'm so young?" she asked worriedly.

"Not at all. Actually, you make me feel quite roguish. I like this youthful feeling."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Well, I suppose I'm good for something, then." She smiled down at him, "I must say that I'm pleasantly surprised by this sarcastic, fun-loving version of you. It's quite nice compared to the withdrawn, moody one."

He shrugged as best he could lying down. "I can't make any promises about not being withdrawn and moody sometime, but I'll try my best to be good around you." She grinned, then dropped back down beside him, turning her head to look into his eyes.

They lay there in silence for a few moments, just basking in each other's warmth and love. "What are we going to do when I go back to Hogwarts?" she asked suddenly, sitting up to look at him more clearly.

He groaned. She knew that this was the last thing he wanted to discuss right now, but she felt it to be a bit important. "Well," he started, "I suppose I could come visit you on Hogsmeade weekends. Technically, I could come to the school, but we wouldn't be permitted to have much interaction. It would have to stay strictly on a student, former-professor level, and I doubt that I could handle it to be honest." He sighed. "In fact, if we're being honest, I may as well tell you that allowing you to go off to school is going to be torture to me. I would rather you not be out of my sight, ever."

Hermione settled back in beside him, smiling slightly. "I'm glad because when school is done, I don't intend on being out of your sight, ever again." Leaning in, she pressed a light kiss against his temple before rolling over and standing up.

"Where are you going exactly?" he asked curiously.

She turned to him and smiled. "Just to take a shower." She picked up her clothes, turning to look back at him as she straightened. "You really are going to take this not allowing me out of your sight thing seriously, aren't you?"

Remus nodded, "Of course. I may as well start now, you know."

"I expected as much," she said. She mock sighed, but knew that the mischievous twinkle in her eyes betrayed her true feelings. "I'll be in there if you need me," she said, pointing toward the bathroom door.

Hermione walked in and shut the door behind her with a click. Dropping her clothes on the floor, she turned back to the door and smiled, ticking down on her fingers until it would open once more.

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Author's Note: I initially regretted what I had written in the last chapter, feeling that it was a bit rushed, but I decided to leave it and worked that whole discussion in somewhere. I realize this is quite out of character for both of them, but you have to realize that he's been waiting twenty years, and she truly has been through a lot in the past few months. This has changed the both of them a great deal from canon. If you have any major issues with this, leave it in a review. I suppose. Either way, it happened, and I doubt that I'm going to go back and rewrite it.

Oh, and thanks again to all my fantastically faithful reviewers. I adore you all!


	15. Remembrance

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But you deserve to be loved

You deserve something real

It's time to heal, time to feel... love

(Tracy Dawn - You Deserve to be Loved)

****

Chapter Fourteen: **Remembrance**

Hermione bound down the stairs. She was late for breakfast, and she knew that by now, Molly would know she hadn't gone to bed that night. She sighed, wishing that she would have had more time to figure out what she wanted to say to all of them, some good argument that would allow them to see how much Remus meant to her.

As she burst in through the kitchen door, seven sets of eyes flashed over toward her. Hermione smiled and said, "Good morning," to all the people present. She blushed under their scrutiny, taking a seat between one of the twins and Harry.

"We lost you last night, Hermione. It seems like you walked in the door and then just disappeared."

Hermione stiffened at Arthur's comment. Any hope of them not knowing flickered and died. "We put your trunk in your bedroom, but Harry and Ron told me this morning that you didn't show up last night. Did you get lost in the dark corridors, dear?" Molly asked, setting a plate of food down in front of her.

She looked at it, noticing the burn mark scarred onto its surface. It brought back memories of a slightly happier time, when Sirius was still alive. His death had never hurt her so much, but today, it felt as if her heart was breaking all over again. She had known and loved him in her way, and he was gone. The door opened again, and this time, Remus walked into the kitchen. The last of the Marauders.

Hermione sighed, which apparently did not go unnoticed by those closest to her. George looked at her quizzically, and Harry with worry. "I'm fine," she muttered, picking up her fork and pushing a sausage across her plate. She glanced to the head of the table, the spot she hadn't noticed before, and saw Albus Dumbledore staring back at her with a knowing smile. She threw him a quick smile, then turned away.

Looking across from her, Hermione noticed that Remus had taken the empty seat on the opposite side of the table. He was flanked by Ginny and Ron, who appeared to be arguing over his head about something. He caught her eye and smiled shyly, looking away as Molly called his name.

"Remus! It's lovely to see you dear. Did you have a nice rest?"

Hermione noticed that he blushed a little at her question. "It was lovely, Molly. Thank you for asking." His gaze became transfixed on the food on his plate, and Hermione almost laughed out loud at the way he was working on controlling his breathing. She never realized he would get so worked up about this.

"Did you happen to see where Hermione went last night? Apparently she got lost in the dark because the boys claimed she wasn't in her room at all." If it was possible, his blush deepened tremendously.

"I uhh... what I mean is... it's just that..."

Hermione would have smiled if the situation wasn't so serious. She looked up at Mrs. Weasley, her heart pounding in her chest.

There was a laugh from the end of the table, and everyone turned to look at Dumbledore curiously. "I believe what Remus means to say, and what Hermione is too afraid to say, is that she was with him last night." He looked at the two of them. "Am I correct in that assumption, Miss Granger?"

Hermione nodded timidly, watching as six sets of mouths fell open. Ron was the first to speak, his face bright red, though Hermione wasn't sure if it was with jealousy or embarrassment. "Hermione, are you mental? He's our professor."

She cleared her throat, noticing the fear in Remus's eyes. After all, he was sitting beside Ron. "Actually, Ron, he hasn't been our professor for some time now."

The rest of the table sat there in stunned silence. Dumbledore was smiling merrily, while Ron sat fuming. Harry just looked at her with a helpful smile, but she could see the shock in his eyes. Ginny was blushing furiously, while Fred and George were cracking jokes and making sarcastic remarks about her and the _professor_.

__

"Hermione's sure to get straight Outstandings now."

"As if that were ever an issue."

Arthur and Molly were at the end of the table, talking quietly about what all of this meant, and Remus sat, motionless, staring down at his plate. His cheeks were a decidedly bright shade of pink, and Hermione could tell his breathing was shallow with nervousness.

Harry turned to her, whispering softly. "I think it's great for you, Hermione. I'm sure Ron will come around eventually. You know how he can be when it comes to romance and all that. Just be careful. He is a bit older than you, you know."

"As if I could forget. The thing of it is, Harry..." She was cut off though when Dumbledore stood.

"I can imagine that you all have feelings to sort through in regards to this," he looked between Remus and Hermione, "new information. Please, understand that time changes everything." Hermione couldn't be sure, but she thought she detected a hint of sorrow and loss in the older man's eyes.

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Her sixth year at Hogwarts passed in a blur. She threw herself into her class work, getting 'Outstandings' on all of her tests. Few people noticed a change in her, but it was always there. She had been through a lot in the past year, and had emerged all the better for it, she thought.

Ron had come around shortly after arriving back at school, just as Harry said he would. She understood completely. She would have been shocked if he had announced that he was dating one of their ex-professors. Ginny had explained her blush that day, but said that she didn't have a problem with it, though she still blushed a bit whenever the topic was broached.

Hermione saw Remus during every Hogsmeade weekend, disappearing for hours with him in the many shops and eateries where they could find some time alone. He told her of the Order's business, while she kept him informed about the comings and goings of her schoolmates.

Hermione was always worried that he would realize what a mistake he was making. She knew that what they were doing was probably wrong in many ways, but she couldn't help it. She had fallen in love with a boy once, and she had lost him, but fate had given her, given _them_, a second chance. She counted her blessings every day that he had decided to take it. She had no way of knowing what twenty years of longing for her had done to him, but she understood the changes that had occurred in him since she had known him then.

"'Mione, c'mon. Everyone's about to leave and we're going to be late," Ron said, pulling her from her thoughts.

She smiled at him gratefully. "Thanks, Ron. I probably would have never noticed." It was late May, and their sixth year was almost over. More importantly though, it was a Hogsmeade weekend. She was going to see Remus.

As if he was reading her mind, Harry grinned at her knowingly. "I wonder what 'mione's going to be up to when she gets down there. Heading out for a drink this time, or just going to the book shop to snog?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, Harry. We could do that anywhere." She sighed, looking at her two best friends lovingly. "Listen you two, I'm so thankful that you're understanding. It's just... this is a difficult situation, and most people wouldn't be able to handle it. I'm just glad that I have you two to share it all with."

Ron shrugged, as he was known to do when things got too emotional, but Harry smiled at her warmly. "It's nothing. Hermione, nothing at all." His smirk turned devilish, and he suddenly reminded her of James even more. "I just can't believe you're snogging our professor."

Hermione looked around, clearly paranoid. "I am _not_ snogging any of our professors," she said in a low voice. Harry smirked once more, and Hermione rolled her eyes, as she had become accustom to doing. "You are such a child at times."

"We can't all grow up so quickly. I'll leave that to you," he said simply, and the discussion was done. Soon, he and Ron were chattering about Quidditch again, as Hermione drifted along beside them, walking the path to Hogsmeade but never really seeing the scenery. She was going to see Remus again.

For a little while, she could pretend that she had never left the past. She could pretend that James, Lily, and Sirius were all safe and happy, and that Peter had never betrayed them.

But in the end, it was just pretend.

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Author's Note: I hate filler chapters, but that's mostly what this is. I just had to work in their reactions before the last real chapter. That's right, I'm not playing tricks, there's only one chapter and the epilogue/afterword left. Pay close attention to the afterword when it's published. This story may be almost done, but the adventure is far from over.

Lunar Sphinx - Thanks for the book suggestion. I'll have to check my library for it.

Spinx Class of 2008 - Thanks for the suggestion. I did, in fact, raise the rating a bit.

To everyone else - Thank you so much for all the support you've given me throughout the writing of this fic. I'm so grateful for every positive remark you have given me during the past few days.


	16. The End of the World

****

Chapter Fifteen: The End of the World

Her sixth year was over, as was the summer that followed. She was on the train returning to Hogwarts, a heavy gloom hanging over the air. Things with Remus were moving along nicely, but the rest of her life was turning upside down. The war had finally reached its peak, and Voldemort was out in the open once more. Every day held a new danger, and this day was no different.

On their way to the train station, they had been attacked by a group of Death Eaters. The fact that the battle had broken out in muggle London made it even worse. An innocent muggle had perished, but the loss to the wizarding world had been far greater. The train was leaving the station now, but it was three students short. Justin Finch-Fletchly, Hannah Abbott, and Colin Creevey lay somewhere in the depths of St. Mungo's. Justin and Hannah were barely clinging to life when Hermione left them with the mediwitches; Colin was dead.

She found an empty compartment, throwing herself down onto a seat heavily. The sounds and sights of the battle weighed on her mind until she felt as if she were going to burst. She heard someone outside the door and glanced through the window. A few people were passing by, but Harry and Ron were still nowhere to be seen. They were discussing battle strategies in Seamus and Dean's compartment.

There was a soft knock at the door, and Ginny peered her head in. "Do you mind?" she asked softly, motioning to the bench across from Hermione.

She shook her head, waving the girl in and turning back to the window. "Rough day, isn't it?" Ginny asked. Hermione found the question a bit unnecessary, but figured the girl only needed to talk. After all, her boyfriend was one of the ones in the hospital right now.

"Have you received any word on Justin?" Hermione asked with mild interest. How many more people would she ask that question of before the end of this?

Ginny nodded, holding up a piece of parchment that Hermione hadn't noticed before. "He's going to be fine, they say. The curse that hit him was powerful, but it went through Colin first, so he only got a bit of a blow." Ginny sighed, and Hermione immediately knew what it was for. Ginny's boyfriend had survived, but at Colin's expense.

"It's funny how the world works, Gin," Hermione said simply, looking toward the hills again. The sky was gray and dreary, as it had been for the past few months. "Do you ever think this war will end?"

"It will have to eventually. You remember what the prophecy said. Harry and," Ginny paused and lowered her voice, "...Voldemort... can't survive together. One of them has to die."

Hermione nodded absently. She knew the prophecy well enough. She had spent enough restless nights worrying over what it meant to her best friend's future. "I know, and that's what I'm worried about." Hermione looked at Ginny, tears forming behind her eyes, but refusing to fall. "What if Harry can't defeat him?"

"I suppose all we can do is help him and pray."

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Helping Harry had done little; praying had helped even less. The world was falling apart around her, and Hermione Granger was scared. Every day, more and more of her friends fell to the battle that raged on just outside Hogwarts. Voldemort had never made it past their defenses surrounding the grounds, but that didn't mean that he couldn't attack from the outside.

All communication with the outside world had been cut off. Owls carrying messages to and from the school were shot down by Death Eaters. Hedwig had just managed to escape an attack, but her left wing was badly injured and she was kept in a cage in the boys' dormitory. Pigwidgeon hadn't been quite so lucky.

The Floo network in and out of the school, once open to teachers and staff, had been shut down for fear of Death Eaters sneaking in somehow. Luckily, apparition had always been forbidden, but in some cases, that caused more harm than help. The only way anyone could get through was some of the secret passageways, and even those weren't necessarily safe. One of them was closed off now after an Order member had been caught and killed coming out in Hogsmeade. Luckily, Remus had managed to make it in through one of them, but that caused Hermione to worry even more.

"Why couldn't you have just stayed away? It's safe in Germany right now, I've heard," she said one night, as they were lying in his bed together. They had given up caring what other people thought a long time ago. No one had much time for gossip anymore when they were faced with the prospect of dying every day.

"You know I couldn't do that. I couldn't take off and leave you in the middle of battle," he said softly, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead. "And if I would have asked you to come away, you would have said no."

She nodded, knowing that it was true. She couldn't desert Harry, not this close to the end. "I know, but worrying about you is rather distracting. Though, I don't expect you to just sit around." She looked over at him, smiling, "We could always lie around though..." He released her and rolled to his back, smiling a little, though his face seemed sad.

"I love you. You know that, don't you?" he asked her, his face turning stony and serious in an instant.

Hermione looked at him worriedly. "Of course I know that. Why? What's wrong, Remus?"

He looked away, not meeting her eyes. "I just wanted to be sure. I would hate for something to happen to me without you realizing how much I care for you." She could sense the heartbreak in his voice, and the worry.

"Nothing's going to happen to you. I won't let it. Remember, you're stuck with me."

Remus smiled grimly, "It should be me reassuring you, you know. After all, I am twenty years your senior."

"And every bit my equal, or so I remember you saying once or twice before." She looked at him carefully, "What exactly brought all of this on?"

"Just a talk I had with someone, but please try not to worry. I'm sure that everything will be fine," he said, rolling over to lie on his side facing her. "Let's try to get some sleep."

Hermione slid closer to him, resting a hand on his chest, her face nestled against his neck. She pressed a kiss against his throat and sighed. "I suppose if you think we must."

"You need your rest," he said simply, pulling her against him, safe in his arms.

--------========--------

"Hermione! Look out!" She spun around, ducking just in time to miss a red bolt that was aimed at her head. She threw a quick look to her left, nodding to Ron in thanks, before shooting her own spell in the Death Eater's direction. There was a good chance that this was to be the last battle of the war, and Hermione was terrified. Not really for herself, but more for Harry. He was about to face one of the most ruthless and horrible wizards in history, with little more than herself and Ron as back up.

She saw Ron shoot sparkling blue light into the air, and gasped. He was calling the Order. Remus would be coming.

__

"Promise me. Promise me that no matter what happens, you'll stay here in this room," Hermione said, rushing around to find her cloak and wand.

He sighed, handing her the missing objects. "I swear that I'll stay here, unless they call the Order. If someone calls the Order, then I'm expected to be there."

"So what? Defy them just once in your life. You don't always have to follow the rules, you know."

"I would be a disgrace if I didn't go. If the Order is called, I must go out to battle."

Hermione stopped at the door, turning back and running into his arms. She kissed him then, long and deep, before pulling away to leave. "Please be safe."

She continued on, knowing that if she stopped to search for him, she would die. Another curse flew her way; she dodged it and threw one back in return. Glancing around the "battlefield", she finally caught sight of Harry. He was standing near a tree, dueling with three Death Eaters at once. She was surprised to see that he was holding up well, but she didn't want to risk losing him.

She uttered a curse, sending it off to the first Death Eater she saw by him.

"Thanks, 'mione," she heard him call, as he continued to battle with the third. The second turned to look at her, and she noticed that the hood was pulled back, revealing the person's face. It was Bellatrix Lestrange; the Death Eater that had murdered Sirius.

"I remember you, little girl."

Hermione stared at her coldly as Bellatrix began to circle. She seemed vulture-like to Hermione, which was actually more frightening to her than the woman herself. "I'm going to take a great deal of pleasure in killing you," Hermione said, her voice low and dangerous.

Bellatrix threw her head back and laughed. "You could never kill me, _little girl_. You children aren't capable of such cruelty. Your hearts aren't in it; not like mine."

Hermione faltered. Though she hated to admit it to herself, Bellatrix was right. She had never killed anyone before. She wasn't even certain she could perform the incantation correctly. She stood completely motionless, her eyes following Bellatrix as she circled her.

"I knew you couldn't do it. You're just like the rest of them," Bellatrix sneered. She held her wand up, preparing to administer a curse. Hermione's insides froze. Bellatrix was known for her fondness of Unforgiveable Curses.

"_Crucio_."

Hermione gasped and fell to the ground in pain. She could feel her body twitching, but she had no control over her actions. So this is what it feels like, she thought solemnly. She tried her hardest not to let on how much it truly hurt, but it was hard to think when all she could feel was blinding pain. She screamed. To her, it was hard to tell the magnitude of this scream, but she had a feeling it was rather ear piercing.

She couldn't be sure how much time had passed. It could have only been a minute, but to her, it felt like hours. When the pain stopped, Hermione was sure she was going to pass out, but she forced her eyes open anyway. She would be as good as dead if she stayed lying there.

She noticed that Bellatrix seemed to be engaged in a duel with someone else. Someone who seemed remarkably familiar. Hermione reached her hand up, clearing her eyes of some of the tears that had started to form. Bellatrix moved sideways, dodging a curse that had been shot out by her attacker. It was Remus.

"Hermione, be careful!" She heard someone shot. She rolled to her right, dodging a yellow dart of light that ignited the ground where it landed. Standing, she saw Ron trapped in the middle of a circle of Death Eaters. He had been the one who shouted to her. For the second time that day, Ron had saved her, and now he was caught.

"Ron!" she screamed, trying to push her way through the dueling individuals, stepping lightly over the bodies that lay broken on the ground. "Ron, no!"

A green light washed over the field, and Ron fell to the feet of one of the Death Eaters. They began to disperse; their fun was over.

Hermione ran blindly through her tears, dropping to her knees beside his body. "Ron... oh god, Ron. Why? Why weren't you paying attention? You shouldn't have been watching me. It was my own fault that I was on the ground in the first place. It was my own fault Bellatrix was torturing me. You should have kept fighting," she sobbed, burying her face into his chest.

She felt arms encircle her and heard a hoarse voice in her ear. "You can't help him, Hermione. He's gone." Hermione twisted in Remus's arms, clinging to his robes like a child. "Come on. We can't linger here for too long."

He took her hand, dragging her through the battlefield, away from Ron's crumpled body. Eventually he paused, dropping her hand and turning to look at her. "I know you don't want me here, but I'm fighting this battle with you, Hermione. Side by side... it's how it was meant to be."

"What do you know about what's meant to be? You sound like Dumbledore," Hermione said, trying to sound light-hearted, at least a little, but failing at it miserably.

Remus smiled at her, but it was a sad smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Something of that sort, I suppose." He looked over her shoulder, though at what, Hermione wasn't sure.

His eyes snapped to hers suddenly, and he said, "Don't forget that I'll always love you."

Hermione looked at him with frightened eyes. "Remus, what do you..."

His eyes grew wide and he reached out, shoving her sideways and onto the ground. Hermione looked up just in time to see the green light wash over him as he slipped away from her forever.

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__

Who can say where the road goes, where the day flows?

Only time

And who can say if your love grows, as your heart chose?

Only time

Who can say why your heart sighs, as your love flies?

Only time

And who can say why your heart cries, as your love dies?

Only time

(Enya - Only Time)

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Author's Notes: Don't kill me. Please, before you flame me or send me death threats, just read the epilogue. As it was, this was the hardest chapter to write, simply because the idea of doing such a horrible thing made me cry.


	17. Epilogue and Afterword

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Who can say when the roads meet,

That love might be in your heart?

And who can say when the day sleeps,

If the night keeps all your heart?

Night keeps all your heart.

(Enya - Only Time)

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****

Epilogue

Hermione walked along the pathways solemnly. It wasn't safe to be out there, but it didn't matter to her anymore. The only thing that mattered was that she was a woman who had lost everything. Her two best friends were dead, as was the only man she had ever loved.

__

It all happened so quickly. Remus was struck by the curse, and Hermione felt herself slipping away. Harry snapped her back to reality as he screamed for her help. He was surrounded by Death Eaters, and in the middle of the circle with him, was Voldemort. Hermione began blasting away at the people surrounding him, praying that she could get there in time and that there was something she could do.

"I'm coming, Harry!"

People had fallen, and still Voldemort and Harry were locked in a horrific battle at the center of it all. Their terrible dance went on for what seemed like hours, while Hermione fought her way to them the entire time. Suddenly, the battlefield grew silent and Hermione noticed that an eerie mist had started to form around them. Voldemort's will wavered; his attention drawn to some point in the distance where Hermione could see shimmering figures moving toward them. This gave Harry the proper time he needed, and for the first, and only, time in his life, Harry took a life.

The Death Eaters were shocked. The voices of more Order members could be heard on the horizon. It would all be over soon.

Lucius Malfoy pulled his hood back. He was standing behind Harry, and he locked eyes with Hermione for one terrifying moment.

"Harry! Behind you!"

He spun, just as the curse hit him in the chest, knocking him to the ground. She had little need to check. Her best friend was dead.

Hermione hesitated, hearing a soft humming sound just around the tree in front of her. Reaching for her wand, she made her way around it carefully and sighed when her eyes met those of the figure behind it.

"Hello, Professor." She put her wand back in her robes, looking at Dumbledore intently. Couldn't he even allow me peace to grieve, she wondered.

"Hello, Miss Granger. I was hoping to see you here."

Hermione walked on, not willing to stand and listen to more of Dumbledore's riddles. She had known him long enough to realize that it was very hard to ever get a straight answer out of the man. She finally stopped in front of three headstones, all standing side by side. Like they had in battle, she mused silently.

Dropping to her knees, Hermione rested a hand on the stone engraved, 'Ronald Weasley' and sighed. "I have so many regrets, Ron. I hate that you're one of them, but you are. If only you hadn't been keeping an eye on me that day. If only you were paying attention. I regret allowing you to always protect me... you were just like a brother."

She heard Dumbledore come up behind her, but she ignored the old man. She was here with a purpose, and she would not be deterred.

She looked at Harry's stone next, the tears starting to build within her. "Harry... I wish that there was something I could have done for you. You were so brave during that last battle, taking on three Death Eaters at once was more than any of us ever could have done. It wasn't just the last battle either, Harry. You were brave your entire life. I only wish that I could have done something more to help you, but I couldn't get there in time. You have to understand..." She stopped, gathering her thoughts. "You did it though. You defeated Voldemort and saved us all. I just wish that you could see the looks on everyone's faces when they talk about you. You're like a god now, Harry."

"Hermione."

She turned and glared, standing up. "I don't want to talk to you."

Walking to the third stone, she sat on the ground and rested her head against it. "I miss you, Remus. Every moment of every day, I wish that you were here beside me to ease my pain, but you're gone. I lost everyone in the span of a day, and you aren't here to help me anymore." Her tears flowed freely, but it didn't matter. "I just wish that you would have stayed away. I wouldn't have cared if you were a disgrace to the Order. At least you'd still be with me."

"He wouldn't be."

Hermione turned to Dumbledore in aggravation. "Why must you torment me? I just want to wallow here in self-pity, if you please."

"Remus Lupin would not be with you today, for you would be dead."

"What are you talking about?" she retorted angrily.

He sighed, conjuring a chair and sitting himself beside Harry's grave. "The day before you went with Harry to the last battle, I called Remus to my office. I warned him that to allow you to go out to battle would be allowing you to die, but there was nothing he could do. You would have refused if he had asked you to stay, and he was unwilling to force you."

"Wouldn't that have been a problem... messing around with fate?"

Dumbledore nodded, sighing once more. "I would have allowed it though, if you would have been willing. I did not intend for him to die because of what I told him. He simply wanted to save you."

"So he knew that the spell was coming? He knew that in order for me to live, he would have to die?"

"He knew, but he valued you more than life itself." Dumbledore's expression softened considerably as her tears began to fall. "Fear not. However dark things look now, your journey together is far from over."

Hermione buried her face in her hands. She was not prone to hysterics, but this was simply too much for her to handle. "He's dead, Professor. We have nothing left together. HE'S GONE."

"It's funny how the world works, Miss Granger." Dumbledore stood to walk away. He paused for a moment, looking at Hermione with a kind expression.

"Soon, everything will be clear."

__

Soon.

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Don't ask why, don't ask how

I still can't explain

Just say good-bye, good-bye for now

Till I see you again

(Celeste Prince - Wherever You Are)

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Author's Notes: Just to clear things up before the Afterword. I feel so authorish right now.

Angelic delirium - I had written a chapter where she told Harry and Ron about it, but it didn't fit well with the flow of the story and ended up getting cut. I was definitely hinting to a sequel... read on below to find out the few details I'm releasing. Thanks so much for your constant reviews and support.

Slywolf9 - The whole thing with Ginny blushing was supposed to be explained in the sequence in **The End of the World** with Hermione and Ginny sharing a train compartment on the trip to Hogwarts, but it didn't flow well with the rest of the scene. Ginny, as it turns out, had a crush on Lupin during the summer they spent at Grimmauld Place before her fourth year. Unfortunately though, I couldn't find a place to fit in in anywhere, so that idea had to go. I think it was mostly a way to get my two favorite female characters into more scenes together though. Thanks for your very enthusiastic comments. Bonus points for saying "Bloody hell" in your reviews. I'm a big fan of that phrase.

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Afterword

When I started writing this fic, I had no idea that it was going to lead to this point. I may have had it mapped out in front of me, but it's surprising to see how much things can change from point A to point B. Initially, Hermione was not going to return to the future, but when I began writing **A Promise Kept**, I realized that she simply had to.

I realize that many of you probably expected some sort of happy resolution after all the struggles they had faced, but it wasn't to be. However, as Dumbledore said, "Soon, everything will be clear." As I wrote those words, so I plan to stand by them.

A sequel to this is already in the works, and I swear that Hermione and Remus will be united again. As this story was entirely in Hermione's point of view, at this point, I believe that the next will be all from Remus's side of things, so for any of you who were waiting for that, you may just get your wish. Basically, the pair is given another chance at happiness, but neither truly understand the cost at which this opportunity comes. Hopefully I have as much success with the sequel as I seem to have had with this.

I would just like to thank all of my reviewers for their kind words and little bits of wisdom. If not for them, I doubt that I would have managed to put forth seventeen chapters, including the prologue and epilogue, in the span of four days.

I hope you all choose to read the sequel when I begin publishing it. Thank you so much for everything.


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